This is the book that just won’t end. So The Final Cycle: Grand Finale wasn’t grand enough was it?
Now I am officially an Olympic Champion Master Expert at *egg collections, I swanned off home last week to treat my pain like the Master Expert I am (wine and analgesics). I expected to feel a bit sore and sorry for myself and that is exactly how things panned out for the first few days.
Anyway, I thought last week had been shit enough but turns out it wasn’t quite shit enough to warrant the end of my story. I started feeling feverish over the weekend and sick. My tummy started to swell and the pain increased. I did what every normal person would do and ignored it so that it would go away. It did not go away. Eventually even someone as strong and brave as me reaches their limit so I called the clinic.
They told me to go back to be checked over. I fully expected them to prod me about a bit and send me packing with some paracetamol and maybe a prescription for anti-hyperchondria tablets. No suck luck. They admitted me as an emergency back to the bloody ward I had my egg collection at, same bloody bed and everything.
FFS OVARIES. You can’t give me any eggs, but you can let germs breed in you. I spent the next 2 days in hospital with IV antibiotics for an infection in my ovary and pelvic abscess. Bastard, bastard, bastard ovaries. Not content on merely being shit, the stupid bastards tried to kill me.
I am home now with a cupboard full of antibiotics and painkillers to pop my way through over the next couple of weeks. I believe this is temporarily going to inhibit my wine intake so I will have to make do with chocolate instead for a bit.
Although the last 6 months of treatment were poor to say the least (think I have reached my swear word quota for this post), and my earlier cycles were also pretty dreadful, we were lucky once. It took a long time and a lot of money and heartache, but I am one of the lucky ones. If someone had come along and offered me my life now when I was sat in hell with my arse glued to the floor, I would have bitten their arm off and I wouldn’t have even chewed.
Ok, so now this is actually the end. The real end. I have no intentions of coming back with some shitty (oops) novella nobody wants to read.