Clown spray

I just remembered something brilliant from my first ever letter from the ACU (Assisted Conception Unit, just in case like me you thought everybody on the internet had a husband with the initials DH).

The letter was confirming my first hospital consultation, and asking that my husband go in the week before for a sperm test. In case I needed to change the date, I was given my patient number and a password. The password was clown spray.

That memory cheered me right up this morning, so I thought I’d share it. Other good things that have happened to me:

1. I saw a massive dog in the driving seat of a car. I took a picture, but the picture is rubbish so you will just have to take me on my word that this was very funny:

2. I popped out to get some more paint (interesting fact of the day: I am painting my hallway), and I found this:

A fool proof way to burglar-proof your house! Paint it with slippery paint! That’ll catch the rascals.

3. I found half a pack of caramel digestives in my handbag (no picture, sorry)

That’s it. Good morning, no? The bad news is that my stupid period is still AWOL. I am willing it to return before I get dragged back for a progesterone injection.
a) I am sick of injections
b) I have already been to the hospital way too many times this year considering that eff all has happened aside from my poker face is improving when the nurse looks at me all sad face and says, “This is unusual, but unfortunately it looks like blah blah, bad news, blah blah.”
c) I am sick, sick, sick of waiting and I am scared that if my cycle is forced into action with yet more drugs, it won’t come back again in 4 weeks time and I will be waiting even longer with no plan and no idea when there will be an end to any of this.

Oh no, now I have bummed myself out again. I will cheer you up with my all-time best thing I ever saw in a shop:

Yes, that is a menagerie stoneware ring box squirrel. Chip on the acorn lid. Non returnable. Non refundable, yours for £196 (was £120).

Hope you are all having as much fun today as I am!

BB xx

p.s. For the love of God, I have set that menagerie stoneware ring box squirrel as my computer screen saver and I can’t change it back. I am adding this to my list of reasons why the universe against me.


3 thoughts on “Clown spray

  1. canadianivfjourney

    You’re hilarious! Love the big dog in the car..

    And maybe the squirrel screensaver is God’s way of saying things could be worse. You could have overpaid for a menagerie squirrel!!



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