Well, I asked for no more random news yesterday. I didn’t get my wish, but for the first time ever in the last 2.5 years of appointments: I. Have. Unexpected. Random. GOOD. NEWS!!!! *victory dance*
I’m not pregnant, it’s not that good. After yesterday’s pity party I headed back for the trillionth scan this year, this time to check up on the uninvited ovary guest, The Cyst. The doctor I saw on Friday told me that either way, my next IVF cycle wouldn’t start until next month at the earliest. I triple checked that, and had a minor tantrum/crying session during the meeting. The news was basically: cycle 1 was cancelled 6 weeks ago and cycle 2 wouldn’t start for another 4 weeks after my period returned (whenever that would be). Today was just to measure the cyst and make sure it was getting smaller. She even said I could try to get pregnant naturally for a month or 2 (good plan, because that has worked out soooo well for me so far).
After I finished my tantrum, my husband and I decided to book a week in the sun. We haven’t been on a holiday for so long because we never know whether we are coming or going with all of these appointments/operations/random curve balls. We were 1 click away from booking when we decided to wait until after my scan today. Better get all the facts first. We are obviously becoming experts at expecting the unexpected.
Armed with a rather extensive list of questions, I headed to the hospital today on my own like a brave little soldier. A different doctor scanned me, and I even had a nurse to hold my hand! Win! He sympathised about how disappointing it was for me, he told me that only 8% of people don’t respond to suprecur and only 2% get cysts like this. Yeah, yeah sad faces all round. Get on with it, not exactly the most comfortable position to hold a conversation. He showed me my ovaries, which were, “looking ok considering, just a bit high.”
“We can start you on the pill today then, and I will get the nurse to come in and book all the dates for your next cycle now.”
REWIND! WHAT?! Are my ears broken as well?
I could have jumped straight off that table and snogged him. The nice hand-holding nurse even said I deserved a coffee and a piece of cake on my way home for enduring so many scans. Double, triple, MEGA WIN!!!
Of course, this was entirely and 100% not at all what I was told 6 days ago. I grilled him immediately to try and understand what prompted this miraculous change of heart, which turned him a bit, “I am the doctor little lady and you are the patient.” I’m none the wiser really.
I am, however, currently hysterical with excitement. I will need to talk myself down from the ceiling tomorrow. So much for keeping my expectations in check; I worked out the due date of my imaginary baby on the way home. Oops. If you see me tomorrow, give me a slap will you? I will calm down soon, but today I hold in my sticky little hand a beautiful A4 piece of paper with all my appointments for the next cycle on it. Hello light at the end of the tunnel, nice to meet you!
Good news = No. More. Waiting! SCREAM!!
Bad news = This may affect the to-do list I made yesterday.
I am heading out soon for some food with Mr Barren. He should be able to talk some sense into me. I have already been here once before 12 weeks ago, and that got me precisely nowhere at all.
Thank you for all the messages this week. I read some new comments when I was all sad-sack-boo-for-me in the waiting room today and they made me feel so much better. I’m in no way happy that anyone else is going through this, but knowing that there are other people out there who can extend a virtual hand and really know how utterly exhausting, draining, brilliant, painful, exhilarating, devastating this all is has really helped me keep my head above water this week.
So, to all of you who are on this rollercoaster we never even wanted to ride in the first place, *virtual high five*, let’s do it!!