Mediocre egg report, D- for effort

If you are on Twitter you will have already witnessed my egg retrieval nervous breakdown. If you aren’t, I can tell you now that it did not go to plan.

It started off with 3 bad omens:

1. I picked up a magazine because it had a Henry Cavill headline on the cover. What I had forgotten was that I lost my glasses last month (who does that? Who does that and doesn’t even replace them?) It wasn’t Henry Cavill, it was Civil War and National Geographic magazine. I pretended to read it anyway instead of looking like a div and putting it back.

2. I had a dream that I needed to do a pregnancy test before egg collection. Despite numerous sources telling me that this was actually mental, I had wee performance anxiety. This meant that I bypassed my usual toilet in case I was required to perform a wee on demand in the clinic. I didn’t need to. I weed in a totally alien toilet I have never even seen before.

3. At our clinic you are supposed to do your sperm sample at home, then I don’t know, stuff it down your knickers or under your armpit or something to keep it warm and bring it in. The men coming in this morning ignored this request, and I had to watch them go into the toilet to do their business. I don’t like being that close to strangers wanking.

As an aside, I felt bad for the poor guys coming in. They fall into two camps. The fake, over-confident, jolly, too-loud, “this is nothing, I’m totally cool with this!” camp, and the bag-over-the-head-don’t-look-at-me-or-I-will-die camp. Pretty sure they both feel the same level of awkward.

Anyways, egg collection went horribly wrong. I went in with 5 good follicles and 5 smaller ones. I woke up to two very pessimistic doctors telling me to prepare myself for the worst. One of them told me that all I could do now was cross my fingers. Thanks for that.

After spending the morning crying on my own in the recovery ward, I’ve calmed down a bit. I’m finding it hard to remember what happened since the anaesthetic has muddled my thoughts, but I think the problem came when the doctor accidentally pierced my biggest endometrioma. This meant that they couldn’t see what they were doing when they were draining the follicles, and since all of my follicles were on that side they were not hopeful for a good egg harvest. I guess it’s hard enough to flush out follicles, nevermind doing it blind.

Considering the doctors thought I’d get no eggs after the egg collection from hell, the good news is that we got two. Two is more than one and definitely better than none so I am not completely distraught. I’m trying not to think that I had 10 follicles going in, 5 of which were big enough on Wednesday and 2 others that were catching up. Two is better than none. I hope they weren’t damaged from the procedure since it seems to have been such a botched job.

I’m upset that I started IVF treatment at the beginning of February, and the entire culmination of all that time, all of those appointments, all of those drugs, all of the heartache and stress is two eggs. I know that I ovulate every month… I already have one egg every month. All of that extra grief for one more egg? I’m dubious about the treatment I’ve had. I don’t think they gave me enough stimulant drugs and I don’t think they gave them enough time to allow the smaller follicles to catch up. I guess in hindsight none of that would have mattered since they couldn’t see what they were doing anyway.

If any fertilise tonight, my transfer will be on Sunday. I just want this week to be over.

BB xx

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19 thoughts on “Mediocre egg report, D- for effort

  1. hopefulandhungry

    I’m so sorry that the retrieval didn’t go as well as you expected, hopefully one or both of those eggs will be the perfect one(s). Take it easy, hoping for good news later this weekend. šŸ™‚

    Reply
    1. barrenbetty Post author

      It went worse than I ever imagined! I can’t believe I have 2 eggs from 10 follicles… Dreading the call tomorrow. I feel like they used this as a practice go, but I can’t afford another so it wasn’t a practice for me. Hopefully the two eggs will make it, but I’m not feeling very hopeful at the moment.

      Reply
  2. lisaliteration

    If I were you I would have punched that doctor right in the face!! I am so sorry that happened. But you are right–two eggs are better than one and definitely better than none. I am hoping so much that both will fertilize for you.

    Reply
    1. barrenbetty Post author

      Thank you! If I wasn’t so woozy I might have had a crack. I really felt to blame… They just kept telling me it was my fault for being a bad responder. I hope it’s good news tomorrow. I’m almost scared to go to bed because I dont want to find out!!!

      Reply
  3. Nushi

    Sorry ER didn’t go as expected. But love your positive attitude. Two IS better than one and none. All things crossed for those two to fertilise.

    Reply
    1. barrenbetty Post author

      Thank you! I’m in a terrible mood now, can’t believe they only got 2 eggs. I don’t think they are bothered at all. I hope they make a couple of good embryos… At least I will know tomorrow. Loving your bump by the way šŸ˜‰ xxx

      Reply
      1. Nushi

        Oh betty – please don’t lose hope! You’ve come a long way. Just last month, a fellow blogger posted about how the ultrasound machine broke during her ER and they were able to retrieve only one egg. Yesterday, I read an update from her…that one egg fertilised, the embryo was transferred and now she is 9w along and all looks well. I guess you just never know!

        I am praying for you to get some positive news today…

  4. newtoivf

    I’m still so mad about all of this for you. Your clinic sound like a nightmare and an so sorry you had to go through this. .. and I didn’t realise you’re on your own. Big big hugs to you, is hubs with you tonight? Xx

    Reply
    1. barrenbetty Post author

      Thanks lovely. The clinic and IVF place are 1hr apart so hubby had to take eggs in an incubator on the train!! Meant 3 hours crying on my own while everyone there tried to ignore me. He’s taken me home now and think we will go out for tea. I’ve lost energy with it now, just want to crawl into a hole and give up.

      Reply
  5. jbella74

    This just goes to show how bedside manner can make a world of difference! I am so sorry you had to experience such craptastic doctors! Like you aren’t dealing with enough already. Praying that both of those beautiful embryos do their thing!!! šŸ™‚

    Reply
    1. barrenbetty Post author

      Craptastic, I like that word! It was all totally craptastic. I hate them. It’s a day job to them and they are ruining my life, I hate them, I hate them, I hate them, Thanks for your thoughts… I hope the eggs survive the night but I’m not feeling very hopeful today.

      Reply
  6. So, you're saying there's a chance?

    BB, I am livid for you! Seriously, this is “your fault”? You should have told them to suck it! I am so sorry to hear they thought you were a bad responder. I have my fingers crossed that you will show them tomorrow when both eggs fertilize and grow into perfect embryos! Hugs!

    Reply
  7. Baby Hopeful

    So sorry you had such a hard time, not to mention the disappointment. I can understand why you have been feeling down about it. But… 1 extra egg is 100% more than normal and it only takes one!! Try to stay positive (even though it’s hard), one of those two eggs could be “the one”. Lots of love (& babydust). xx

    Reply

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