I had an excellent plan this weekend to fill my face with all the stuff I haven’t been allowed for the past few weeks… ie my favourite cheeses (various blue cheese, Brie etc), pâté, nice wine. You know the drill. We have a beer, cheese and wine shop just round the corner from us (oh yeah, we live in a cool place) and it does the most amazing speciality cheeses. Yum. I got a bunch of them this morning with some fresh bread, pâté and salad. Literally the food of the gods (I am pretty sure that is a fact). What could possibly ruin my plans?
Oh right, hello morning sickness (we all know that just means all-day vomming). So glad you haven’t gone yet. My sickness has just slowly being escalating since I was about 8 weeks. I wish it would do one. Obviously, I ignored it and ate all of the above anyway with a small glass of wine. I can confirm it doesn’t taste as good when it comes back up.
I can’t even enjoy my own pity party. I feel so sick I’m all shaky and weird. I had a sudden panic that I had an infection, but since I have no other signs of infection I guess that isn’t the case.
I hate that non of my clothes fit me anymore. It didn’t seem so bad when I thought I was making room for a baby, but now I just have a bloated stomach for no good reason. Even all the sicking up isn’t helping.
I decided this morning I wasn’t going to focus on the depressing in my blog. I know that if you are reading it you either unfortunately already know exactly how I feel, or you can hazard a bloody good guess. I appear to have failed at that already in the 6 hours I’ve been awake. Sorry. I will perk back up soon, promises.
I am feeling extremely crampy now. The pain is really quite bad, but I still have no bleeding. If the miscarriage starts off anything like my period, I usually have a few days of spotting first. Who knows what it will be like. I am hoping that I don’t find out because I just want someone to jab me in the arm, vacuum it out and send me home. God that sounds awful, sorry. On a more positive note, I love general anaesthetics and I’ve already had 4 in the last year or so.
What happy note can I end on? Oh I know, I don’t have to change my blog title. I am still barren and my name is still Betty (well it’s not really, but you know what I mean). Small mercies.