I had an excellent plan this weekend to fill my face with all the stuff I haven’t been allowed for the past few weeks… ie my favourite cheeses (various blue cheese, Brie etc), pâté, nice wine. You know the drill. We have a beer, cheese and wine shop just round the corner from us (oh yeah, we live in a cool place) and it does the most amazing speciality cheeses. Yum. I got a bunch of them this morning with some fresh bread, pâté and salad. Literally the food of the gods (I am pretty sure that is a fact). What could possibly ruin my plans?

Oh right, hello morning sickness (we all know that just means all-day vomming). So glad you haven’t gone yet. My sickness has just slowly being escalating since I was about 8 weeks. I wish it would do one. Obviously, I ignored it and ate all of the above anyway with a small glass of wine. I can confirm it doesn’t taste as good when it comes back up.

I can’t even enjoy my own pity party. I feel so sick I’m all shaky and weird. I had a sudden panic that I had an infection, but since I have no other signs of infection I guess that isn’t the case.

I hate that non of my clothes fit me anymore. It didn’t seem so bad when I thought I was making room for a baby, but now I just have a bloated stomach for no good reason. Even all the sicking up isn’t helping.

I decided this morning I wasn’t going to focus on the depressing in my blog. I know that if you are reading it you either unfortunately already know exactly how I feel, or you can hazard a bloody good guess. I appear to have failed at that already in the 6 hours I’ve been awake. Sorry. I will perk back up soon, promises.

I am feeling extremely crampy now. The pain is really quite bad, but I still have no bleeding. If the miscarriage starts off anything like my period, I usually have a few days of spotting first. Who knows what it will be like. I am hoping that I don’t find out because I just want someone to jab me in the arm, vacuum it out and send me home. God that sounds awful, sorry. On a more positive note, I love general anaesthetics and I’ve already had 4 in the last year or so.

What happy note can I end on? Oh I know, I don’t have to change my blog title. I am still barren and my name is still Betty (well it’s not really, but you know what I mean). Small mercies.

BB xx


20 thoughts on “Sick

    1. barrenbetty Post author

      Thanks. Actually, the last bout of puking has made me feel a bit better. I will resist the temptation to quickly down a glass of wine and eat some cheese… Don’t think that will help. Sigh. I will just have to have my pity party with dry cereal and the odd piece of white toast.

  1. newtoivf

    That is so shit, hope very much you feel better soon and are able to get royally shit faced. Don’t think you have to be more perky, you don’t. Just do and say what you need xxx

    1. barrenbetty Post author

      Aww, thanks love. I cannot believe how sick I feel… It’s just getting worse!! I might ring the EPU on Monday and ask them for something. Obviously I won’t tell them it is to enable me to get suitably shit faced.

  2. Robin

    Blah! Hope you’re feeling better! Were the cheeses as least delicious going down, the first time you tasted them? 🙂 I do hope so. You deserve at least that. Xoxoxo

  3. missymakes

    Ugh – that’s totally fucked up that the morning sickness continues even when the pregnancy isn’t viable. I hope you’re feeling better and able to keep some wine down soon. You deserve it.

    1. barrenbetty Post author

      It’s pissing me off big time… The foetus isn’t even alive anymore, never mind not viable. I cannot believe how bad my sickness has been the last two days… It’s just getting worse!! Dry cereal for tea for me. I am certainly going to enjoy the wine when I can finally keep it down!!

  4. May

    I find pressure on my cervix and cramps make me feel horribly sick as well, so the cramps you are having a probably not helping at all. I am so very sorry this is all dragging on so miserably. Agh, unfairness piled on misery stacked on grimness dumped on horribleness. I am so, so sorry. Wishing you the most enormous glass of lovely wine to drink comfortably ASAP.

    1. barrenbetty Post author

      Ah yes, well put. I am basically just a big steaming pile of misery, doom and unfairness with a big bitter cherry on the top. Thanks for your message, I know you are have the absolute ultimate stinker of a time. My cramps have been pretty violent (thank you endometriosis), I hadn’t thought about them contributing to the sick but I bet you are right. Most definitely won’t be helping. I can’t wait to drink myself stupid. Hopefully I will be able to restrain myself from posting anything on my blog when that happens!!

  5. lisaliteration

    Been thinking of you lately. I think the shakiness is probably normal–at least, I experienced that. I hope all this lingering sickness nonsense is over for you soon. I’ll be joining your alcohol-imbibing, soft cheese-indulging pity party in spirit! Mine will be heavier on the chocolate-laden baked goods and maybe some sushi though. No pressure to be positive anytime soon.

  6. mammacod

    Ugh. Could this whole situation torture you any more? I’m so so so sorry you have to deal with this, that you have to go through this and that there isn’t a silver lining for me to point to. All I can say is that you are and have been amazingly strong, and you are my hero. Hang in there. Hopefully, the sickness will pass soon, and you’ll only have to taste the cheese and the wine on the way DOWN. Sending lots of positive thoughts your way. xoxo

  7. redbluebird

    I hope the sickness is gone (or going). So ridiculous to have to feel sick physically with so much emotional shittiness happening too. I’ve been thinking of you.
    No one could expect you to be perky right now (bitter and gloomy are totally acceptable!). xo

  8. lydiaseeks

    I’d say getting the nasties out on your blog is a great idea. It’s what it’s for! I’m sorry you’re still feeling sick, that’s salt in the wound for sure. Hoping things improve soonest.

  9. catschristmas

    Hi darlin, to hell with perkiness, you’re not a Barbie doll! Can you maybe get some motillium or some other anti-nausea tablet into you? When I was in the ER here recently the lovely nurse gave me some miracle wafer tablets that stop the nausea in its tracks. Surely you can get something similiar? It’s not fair that you still feel so physically awful.
    Hugs xx

  10. Positive Pants

    Awwww man!!!! Totally sux! Your wine and cheese party sounded like a fab idea. I’d have had some sushi too. Yum! It’s a real headfuck that your body is still giving you morning(all day) sickness!!! I feel your pain honey. My body did the same thing to me.
    Have you got a D&C booked soon?
    All the best BB

    1. barrenbetty Post author

      It should have been today… But *sigh*, see next post. Stupid idiots never booked it. Have squeezed me in a random ward with a “trolley bed” which I think = lying in the corridors. Can’t believe this will ever end right now.


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