Like there is any other type of bulletin. I shall start with the news headlines:
1. My scan was over 2 hours late by which time I had very nearly weed my pants. Entirely unnecessary of course since they can’t see shit on an external scan and oh, surprise surprise I needed an internal one anyway. Did I tell you that when I arrived? Yes? Still made me wee my pants for 2 hours? Well of course you did.
2. They didn’t book my ERPC
No, your eyes aren’t broken. They didn’t book me in. Weren’t expecting me and either never booked me an appointment in the first place, or cancelled and never bothered to tell me.
It went something like this:
Nurse: There is a bit of a wait I’m afraid, maybe 30 minutes (lies, 2 hours)
Me: That’s fine. Do you know what time my ERPC will be?
Nurse: You aren’t booked in for anything today
Me: Yes I am. I was told last week that I was booked in the first slot this afternoon, that I would have a private room and not to eat anything before hand.
Nurse: No, you must have misunderstood. We don’t book people in like that and anyway, the ward is full of old ladies (nope, doesn’t make sense to me either) so nothing can happen today. The ward is full. I think you’ve just gotten your wires crossed.
Me: NO I HAVEN’T. The nurse quite clearly told me I was booked in today. It is written on my appointment form, I have all the pre op information. I have already been waiting weeks while this drags out, and I was definitely booked in for today.
This went on for a long time while the nurse denied I had been booked in, I argued I had, until I finally went out to the waiting room, got all the information they gave me last time and went, to my shame, ABSOLUTELY FUCKING MENTAL at her.
Me: I am extremely angry and disappointed that I either haven’t been booked in at all, or you have just cancelled and not told me.
Nurse: (looks at my evidence). Well, it wasn’t me love.
Me: How can this even happen? I spoke to a nurse for a half an hour last week about what would happen today. I just don’t understand how this can even happen?
Nurse: I don’t know, it wasn’t me love.
I ask a lot more questions about what happened, when I can have the ERPC, what happens next, complain and rant some more.
Nurse: I don’t know, it wasn’t me love.
YEAH WELL IT WASN’T ME EITHER WAS IT? It WAS your department and it IS your responsibility. Oh no, don’t apologise. Why would you apologise? Just keep on refusing to be accountable at all. It is REALLY NOT winding me up to the point where I reach full-scale BLIND RAGE.
I am obviously mellowing in my old age because although I wanted to rip all the hair out from her head and throw her out the window, I didn’t.
I didn’t see Nurse “I don’t know love, it wasn’t me” again. She must have had enough of my screaming. By the looks on the faces of everyone in the waiting room, they’d had enough of it too. After that farce, I waited 2 hours for another scan. Still dead. What a surprise. Then I waited for a nurse who would be, “out to see you in a second” for an hour.
I am back home now 6 hours after I went to the hospital. Still me and the dead baby. Turns out my ranting paid off and they have arranged a trolley bed (this screams corridor to me, something to look forward to) on the day ward tomorrow and they will “squeeze me in”. Well, sorry if I’m not grateful. Oh hang on, we don’t say sorry do we?
I will not be surprised if they aren’t expecting me tomorrow either. I resolve not to be surprised ever again at their total incompetence and entire lack of professionalism. My choice appears to be corridor trolley bed tomorrow, or call up every morning for the next few weeks and hope that one of the old ladies has err, gone somewhere else.
So, in summary I hate the NHS. I take back any good thing that I naively said about them last week. They are useless fuckwits. I need to win the lottery so I never have to see any of their stupid fat faces ever again.