In my last exciting barren-post instalment I told you (I know, I know, you probably remember, you guys x) that my new clinic has nice flowers in the waiting room. I have big news people, BIG NEWS. The flowers are fake. FAKE. What does this mean? Is it a bad omen? But they look so real! They even have bits on them that look a bit dead, and new buds, and half open buds. Is it wrong to have a really convincing fake flower plant in an IVF clinic? I am feeling all kinds of symbolism wrongness.
I really, really wanted to take a picture today, but for some reason this clinic employs about 25 Receptionists. Everytime I went to take a picture, I sneaky looked over at them and they were all giving me supportive-bosom-squashing-cuddle-faces and blowing me kisses.
I will make it my life’s mission this cycle to take a picture and show you so we can discuss its meaning.
I had my AMH tested today. Does anyone know anything about this? I’m anxious that I am going to fail. I also had my BMI tested. The nurse measured me (170cm, fact fans) and weighed me. Either the machine ran out of batteries, or I broke it. Whatever, it wasn’t working. I told the nurse my weight (weighed by my own fair hand this morning on my bathroom scales). She laughed. I told her that they weren’t very accurate (they aren’t), and she said “they must weigh heavy then.” I snogged her.
Also, final bit of news… And I KNOW that you were wondering about this one. The toilets. You don’t need to worry anymore: I have a new usual toilet. I have been to it 3 times now and it is okay. It flushes everytime, unlike my last usual toilet. Today I went for a pre-appointment-nervous-wee and a pregnant lady went into the cublicle next to me. She spent the whole time frantically unrolling toilet roll. She was still doing it when I left.
Small, final, final bit of news. My new clinic is in, how can I put this… a slightly less desirable location of England? I grew up there, so you had better not bitch it out to my face or I will probably fight you, and believe me, I know how to fight because I grew up there. I had a little lolz that they have a sign on the toilet door that doesn’t read:
“These toilets are inspected all the time, ‘cos we are a hospital and it’s clean innit? If it’s not, let us know.”
“These toilets are inspected regularly by security guards.”
Have a good weekend everyone… I am on an allotment clearing mission. What about you?