I know what you are thinking

In my last exciting barren-post instalment I told you (I know, I know, you probably remember, you guys x) that my new clinic has nice flowers in the waiting room. I have big news people, BIG NEWS. The flowers are fake. FAKE. What does this mean? Is it a bad omen? But they look so real! They even have bits on them that look a bit dead, and new buds, and half open buds. Is it wrong to have a really convincing fake flower plant in an IVF clinic? I am feeling all kinds of symbolism wrongness.

I really, really wanted to take a picture today, but for some reason this clinic employs about 25 Receptionists. Everytime I went to take a picture, I sneaky looked over at them and they were all giving me supportive-bosom-squashing-cuddle-faces and blowing me kisses.

I will make it my life’s mission this cycle to take a picture and show you so we can discuss its meaning.

I had my AMH tested today. Does anyone know anything about this? I’m anxious that I am going to fail. I also had my BMI tested. The nurse measured me (170cm, fact fans) and weighed me. Either the machine ran out of batteries, or I broke it. Whatever, it wasn’t working. I told the nurse my weight (weighed by my own fair hand this morning on my bathroom scales). She laughed. I told her that they weren’t very accurate (they aren’t), and she said “they must weigh heavy then.” I snogged her.

Also, final bit of news… And I KNOW that you were wondering about this one. The toilets. You don’t need to worry anymore: I have a new usual toilet. I have been to it 3 times now and it is okay. It flushes everytime, unlike my last usual toilet. Today I went for a pre-appointment-nervous-wee and a pregnant lady went into the cublicle next to me. She spent the whole time frantically unrolling toilet roll. She was still doing it when I left.

Small, final, final bit of news. My new clinic is in, how can I put this… a slightly less desirable location of England? I grew up there, so you had better not bitch it out to my face or I will probably fight you, and believe me, I know how to fight because I grew up there. I had a little lolz that they have a sign on the toilet door that doesn’t read:

“These toilets are inspected all the time, ‘cos we are a hospital and it’s clean innit? If it’s not, let us know.”

It says:

“These toilets are inspected regularly by security guards.”


Have a good weekend everyone… I am on an allotment clearing mission. What about you?

BB xx


30 thoughts on “I know what you are thinking

  1. Nushi

    Did you get your AMH results? My AMH level was 0.7 in Dec12…that’s low egg reserve at my age then (31 years). I was a poor responder to stimulants because of low egg reserve in my both my ovaries (no more than two follies for two cycles). I just kept saying to myself that it was the quality and not quantity that mattered!

    Just though is share what I know. Have a nice weekend!

    1. barrenbetty Post author

      That’s helpful… Thanks! I don’t know yet – should have the results in a week or two. I’ve had a lot of surgery on my ovaries which can really affect egg reserves and it is making me nervous. I only got 2 eggs this time too so I don’t think it’s going to be very good. Will find out soon I guess! Hope you have a good weekend Nushi xx

  2. elaaisa

    Woow you are quite tall! I would be more worried about fresh flowers (that your money doesn’t get spent in the best way). This just shows they care about aesthetics..
    Good luck with the weekend clearing mission!xx

    1. barrenbetty Post author

      I just knew someone sensible would work this out for me! Thanks πŸ˜‰ of course fresh flowers would be a waste of money. How tall are you? The more I get to know people in the blog world, the more I want to know who they are in real life! I felt quite proud to be 170cm for some reason!!! xx

      1. elaaisa

        I’m tiny… 158cm. But I’ll make you laugh with one more piece of information of me in real life: my hubby is 191cm. So we look really silly together. And we often get questions like: do you get a stiff neck when you kiss each other or how do you do it with such a height difference. Sorry, that was quite a random piece of info.. πŸ˜›

  3. Isabelle

    You know, my clinic has these beautiful orchids that look so fake because they are so perfect. Turns out they are real! Yeah AMH is not a fun test. I have low low AMH. Tested it twice. Both times 0.16. So I don’t bother checking it in the future. But I do get a few follicles each time and a few eggs. Just that the eggs don’t always turned into embryos. I am hoping for great result for you! And… I hope that your new toilet will not be inspected by security guard when you intend to use it! Too funny. πŸ™‚

    1. barrenbetty Post author

      Ooh, you have 4cm on me! The toilet security sign really made me laugh… No security guards were present when I went in so I obviously don’t look like a dangerous criminal. Thanks for the information… I don’t know what I’d do without all of you – you know everything! xx

  4. newtoivf

    Yeah, I’m with you… fake flowers is not on! But v pleased you’ve got the toilet situation sorted out even if you may need a police escort to use them.
    And I’m I short arse at 163cm. X

  5. IVFfervescent gal

    I am proud to say I WIN in the low AMH and short arse stakes. AMH is 0.14 ng (or 1.0 measured by pmol). BB I put the different measurements there because of you google low AMH (I know you will) it can be confusing because different places use different conversions: ng or pmol. No idea what the difference is, all I know is that my AMH is like the typical 43 year old’s, and I’m 36. Oh and I am 154cm tall. But I love being this height πŸ™‚ Good luck with the AMH test, please let me know if you have any questions xxxx

    1. barrenbetty Post author

      Oh, that’s very helpful… Thank you! I will definitely probably need to pick your brain when I get my results back. Am a bit scared cos I’ve had so much surgery on my ovaries, but blah, nowt I can do about that. Well done for winning the shorty competition too xx

      1. IVFfervescent gal

        I don’t think it would be affected by the surgery (although guess what, I don’t actually have a medical degree so don’t pay me too much attention). I think it’s got to do with the amount if eggs you were born with and how many you have left. I was, apparently, born with fuck all. I was, however, also fortunate enough to be born in a first world country with parents who loved me and no real other physical problems besides being a short arse and having almost no hand eye coordination. So can’t complain too much.

        Oh actually, screw that magnanimous thinking. Fuckinfertilitywhymeitisn’tfair.

      2. barrenbetty Post author

        It definitely isn’t fair, fucking infertility is a bitch face. Unfortunately surgery can drastically affect your egg reserves! That is one of the main reasons they won’t operate on me again while I am still trying to have children… Or at least they don’t want to. They opened my ovaries twice and each time it means you can lose a lot of eggs. Hopefully they were full to the brim to start off with… Time will tell :-/

        My mum told me last week, “at least you aren’t in hospital for a terminal disease”… Very true, but umm, I still don’t want to be where I am right now thank you very much!!!

      3. IVFfervescent gal

        Oh crap, didn’t know that about surgery. Geez you learn all sorts of shitty things on this forum. That’s crap. Sorry babe. And yeah, the whole cheery “at least you don’t have cancer or a machete sticking out of your head!” is fabulously unhelpful. “Oh yay, thanks for making me realise how lucky I am because I don’t have Ebola flesh eating disease, you’re so right!”

      4. IVFfervescent gal

        PS guess what I am doing now. Couch. Candle. Slippers. Jarmy pants. Heater. Chocky. Cuppa. TUDORS. Hubby away mountain bike riding interstate = I get to stay home and monopolise the DVD player. Bam.

      5. barrenbetty Post author

        Argh! Sounds amazing (your evening, not a flesh eating disease). I was going to ask you how you were getting on with the Tudors. I started re watching but got side tracked by the Walking Dead about half way though season 2.

  6. mammacod

    Gosh, I missed your awesome perspective on everything! Thanks for the giggle. Do you watch Breaking Bad? Next time you go in, you should say, “The flowers are FAKE, bitch,” and take your shot anyway. Hope you’re feeling better if not great. I’m right there with you. We’ll get through this together. {Hugs} from across the pond.

    1. barrenbetty Post author

      I LOVE Breaking Bad!! I’d forgotten all about that episode until I read that quote and it brought it right back. I’m quite up and down at the moment… Hope I’m not going actually mental. How are you doing?

  7. mumofone

    Hi – bit of a lurker and first time commenter πŸ™‚
    I think things might work differently in Australia (???) and admittedly I did IVF for my second baby (currently 26 weeks pregnant) due to secondary infertility – but here I was told that my AMH level would help them determine the amount of stimulation I would need.
    By the way I love your sense of humour – good luck with your next cycle πŸ™‚

    1. barrenbetty Post author

      Hello! Yes, that’s what they told me… The AMH test and antral follicle count will be how they determine the amount of Menopur I need. Who knows how they decided last time?! Congratulations on baby number two x

  8. Emz

    the last comment made me make a noise which led WW to lean over with a concerned “Are you OK?”. I had to reply that yes, that new, sexy, snuffling sound which resembled a piglet nursing was actually amusement.

    1. barrenbetty Post author

      You just reminded me, they’ve put a new sign on the toilet door now which is even funnier. It was so funny I had to sneakily take a picture while nobody was looking. I shall endeavour to include it in a forthcoming post. It’s a good’un.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s