Cancelled cycle

I am beginning to make quite a collection of these.

Good news is that I learnt something today: I am always right.

The appointment started off well. The sonographer told me that everything “looked great!” Lucky for her I was watching her work and noticed that it did. not. look. great. It looked great to her because having had a squizz round my insides she presumed I was having my last scan before egg collection. Who wouldn’t? 10mm lining, nice! 3 big follicles, a few smaller ones, perfect!

Let’s remind ourselves that I have had three months now of down regulating Zoladex. My lining should be thin. I should have NO follicles to speak of.

Who down regulates for three months only to ovulate three eggs and have a lining of 10mm? Me. Lucky me.

I am a bit bamboozled and tired, but the gist is that (as I told anybody who would listen to me) my second Zoladex injection didn’t work. This has now been proven to be true because (for reasons I have forgotten and am too tired to google, sorry) the third injection instead of down regulating me, gave me a massive surge. This can only happen if the previous injection failed. Hence the three massive follicles and jumbo lining. Sigh.

There was the option of just going for egg collection now. However, three follicles ain’t great is it? They might contain no eggs. So once again, my cycle is cancelled. Goodbye anniversary present baby.

The plan now is to wait for a bleed, then embark upon the mother of all short cycles with maximum dose of stims. I queried this given my last appointment where the dose was reduced, but… oh god, I’m so tired. It’s probably fine. I’ll be having 450iu Meronial, plus letrozole. Then cetrotide injections to prevent ovulation. Then lots of eggs, embryos, and babies?

So, to sum up, I was right. Zoladex didn’t work. Fist pump! I knew it.

Bad news is, I have another cancelled cycle under my belt. In theory, I should be back on the IVF horse lame mule in 1-2 weeks. I have however been here before and it took 10.

Please excuse me while I go and pour an entire bottle of wine down my neck.

BB xx


45 thoughts on “Cancelled cycle

  1. mammacod

    Oh Betty, I’m so so so sorry about this. I was so hopeful for you going into this cycle. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that the 1-2 weeks hold true and you’ll be back in business soon. Hang in there, and no one will judge if you pour _more_ than one bottle down your throat. {hugs}

    1. barrenbetty Post author

      Thanks! I’m so sick of this waiting. Can’t believe it’s been 9 months since I started my last cycle. Fricking joke. Hopefully it won’t be too long, but I just can’t imagine getting started again at the moment!

  2. Smile

    Damn it, this sucks for you and I’m sorry. I’m hoping that the delay is only 2 weeks and that you drink all the wine that you need and want (that’s my method as well).

  3. hopeloveandfamily

    Oh no, I’m so sorry. Unfortunately all the medication you just listed are very unfamiliar to me so I can’t comment about any of that but I can try to imagine how you feel. Hope the next 2 weeks do not feel too long for you. hugs xoxo

    1. barrenbetty Post author

      Thank you. I’m feeling a bit sorry for myself today, but hopefully the wait won’t be too long. I think it’ll be more like 2 weeks at best after seeing the scan but you never know!

    1. barrenbetty Post author

      Oh good god, that’s totally shit! Why have you been waiting so long? I need to go and read your blog again. I thought 2 eggs and 1 transfer in a year was bad. Nobody tells you how long it can take and how much can go wrong before you start do they?

  4. kiftsgate

    Really sorry to hear this. BB if you are always right, does it mean you can see the future too? We should start exploiting this quality of yours…
    I hate when bodies do not collaborate. It sucks! Hope the short cycle works out fine. xx

    1. barrenbetty Post author

      I never thought of it like that!! I’m feeling very gloomy about it all today so I hope that’s not a premonition!!! I’m a bit scared about the short cycle with my endo and high dose of stims but I’m trying to trust that they know what they are doing.

      1. kiftsgate

        It is hard to trust doctors. But they are doctors after all, so I think we should trust them. If it helps, all my favourite bloggers always get pregnant quickly and you are definitely in my top 3. I think it’s your turn soon! I’m really getting convinced I have magic powers in bringing good luck to people (and bad luck to me).

  5. babyhopeful

    So sorry. This sucks big time. I hope you can start the next cycle in a couple of weeks. My fingers are crossed for you. Hugs. xxx

    1. barrenbetty Post author

      Thank you! I really hope it isn’t too much of a delay, but I just can’t imagine ever starting again at the moment. I’m getting so sick of all the set backs šŸ˜¦

      1. babyhopeful

        Whilst I can’t relate 2 the ivf side & totally get how annoying & frustrating the set backs are. I seem to be in the same boat when it comes to those šŸ˜¦

      2. barrenbetty Post author

        Set backs are the worst. Seems like everyone else is at least getting on with it and trying to get pregnant! Think we have picked the short straw everytime. Hopefully our luck will change this year… Surely it’s about time?! xx

    1. barrenbetty Post author

      I know šŸ˜¦ they decided it would be a waste of money to continue and do egg collection for IVF and wouldn’t even let me try naturally, nevermind IUI because of the risk of triplets!!

      1. Clare

        Bah I’d still have a go, but that’s just me (plus I’m dealing with male factor so not much chance of hitting all 3 eggs)… Hate to see good eggies and a nice lining go to waste!
        On the upside, if you were able to get 3 eggs just from a medication screw up, you should be able to get a good haul with proper stimming.

      2. barrenbetty Post author

        It did dawn on me that most infertile people would have just had a crack anyway!!! I almost did, then thought if I ended up with two ectopics it’d all be my own fault. In theory I agree… Surely this means I’ll get a few eggs when stimming proper?! However, I only got 2 last time. Meh. I think my body just likes doing the opposite of what it’s meant to!!!

        Where are you in your journey? Have you tried IVF yet? Sorry if you’ve already told me. I blame all the drugs… They’ve ruined my memory (which was pretty shit to start with).

  6. Clare

    Yes, was extremely fortunate to have success with ivf a few months ago. Before that had done a silly amount of IUI’s and tried for a few years without treatment. Dealing with male factor and I was eventually dx’d as unexplained (aka my body doesn’t do what it’s supposed to either).
    Lot’s of luck to you for this cycle! I have a good feeling for you – I think you’ll definitely get more eggs this time around. x

    1. barrenbetty Post author

      That’s great! Congratulations. I reeeally hope I get more eggs this time around. Right now I can’t even imagine getting to the starting line again so I probably don’t need to worry too much about eggs yet! x

      1. Clare

        I was the same way. Each little step I made that didn’t end up with something going awry or a cancelled cycle seemed like a massive success in itself. Crossing fingers and toes for you.

  7. Pingback: Thirty three | barrenbetty

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