No magical in-between-IVFs pregnancy here then. No, no here we are gearing up, dusting off and getting back on the
horse lame mule.
It’s CD2 and I am back on the pill for three weeks then letrozole, 450iu Meronial and Cetrotide again. Because it worked so well last time didn’t it? Oh no, my bad. It. Was. Shit. My first goal is not to have the cycle cancelled, because having a cancelled cycle before each fresh is a habit I would most certainly like to break.
One question I would like to pick your brains and vast IVF knowledge on. Where do you stand on supplements? What did you take? I am tempted to take nothing except pregnacare.
I am a muddle of feelings about this cycle. A lot of my friends and family have new babies which is making it harder. I torture myself by looking at them and saying they weren’t even pregnant when I started IVF yet they have babies now. I look at their two year olds and three year olds and work out how long I’d been trying to conceive for when they texted me their scan pictures. I’m so left behind. I’m trying not to, but a bit of me looks at this next round and wonders just how sad and left behind I will be in another 3 months when it’s all over. Even further behind, even poorer, even more sad.
I’m being dramatic, slap me.
I could drivel on forever or until you go blind and deaf so anyway, I read a lot of pregnancy blogs. Well, maybe they are more accurately described as pregnancy-after-infertility blogs. Whatever. I read them and I’ve noticed that a lot do the same little questionnaire at the end tracking their pregnancy each week – you know, number of weeks, boy or girl, nausea, symptoms, etc etc. I decided earlier this week it’s not fair that I am left out of this, so I am going to subject you to a weekly questionnaire of my very own so we can chart my progress too. Some of the questions weren’t relevant but turns out I could answer most of them with just a couple of minor amendments. Yippee, I can play!
Number of weeks (of the questionnaire): 1.
Total weight gain/loss: Well I’ve gained 14lbs in 2 years, but lost 2lbs in the last couple of weeks, so…. let’s call that a 2lb loss.
Best moment this week: AF turned up so I could call the clinic.
Worst moment: AF turned up so I could call the clinic.
Movement: I’ve walked a lot, but I’ve missed out on my usual swimming (see above).
Anything making you queasy or sick: Old people snogging, and especially that advert for denture glue with the old people snogging – BUT DON’T WORRY, at least their dentures won’t fall out into each other’s mouths. Who had that idea for an advert? Is that what oldies are worrying about? Oh no, I’d better not snog Enid/Bert incase my dentures fall in their mouth again?
Sex: Yes please, he he.
Symptoms: Cramps, my skin is dry and I have a mild headache.
Wedding rings on or off: On, surprisingly given that I have been a complete lunatic this week.
Happy or moody most of the time: I am a black swamp of rotten fermenting misery being sicked on by hyenas, shat on by crows and eaten by maggots and worms.
Current project: Operation Make New Friends. I’m sure you remember everything I write, so you won’t have forgotten that I moved house a while ago. Fortunately one of my very best friends already lived here with her husband and their kids (in the town, not like, already in my house). Unfortunately she is emigrating in June – to Australia, of all places. I am working part time and from home. My hobbies are bitching about IVF and lying face down crying. This is not conducive to making new friends.
Looking forward to: I spent ages trying to answer this before I realised that I don’t look forward anymore, it’s too scary. I’m looking forward to my dinner tonight because I’m hungry already and it’s only 3pm (quorn and bean chilli if you’re interested).
Now you guys can do the questionnaire too! HOORAY!
P.s. As a reward for reaching the end, I can tell you that the It Looks Like A Penis page has been updated. It includes some majestic penis rock formations as well as a croissant and coffee getting on better than you could ever (and probably should never) imagine.