It’s time again

Thank you Team Betty for all the advice/rage/common sense you sent my way after my last post. I absorbed all your power, channelled it ninja style through Mr B and he spoke to the clinic. I also wrote them a 10 page email, but Mr B intercepted it and changed it to a one liner, “please call me to discuss Betty.” Lame guys, lame. I wrote loadsa good stuff. Anyway, they have assured us that the general anaesthetic is not a “maybe” but a certainly-definitely-going-to-happen. Excuse me if I don’t believe that for shit, but at least it is a step in the right direction.

I can barely walk today because my thighs hurt so much. In particular my left thigh, which is currently so sore my walk has been reduced to an old lady hobble. I bent down this morning to pick up Mr B’s dirty pants from the floor and SCREAMED in pain. It hurts like I have run a marathon (guessing, obviously) except I haven’t… I have just done my first stims injections (badly, obviously). Yippee, back on the lame horse mule again! You’d have thought that after giving myself hundreds of injections already I’d be able to do it properly now, but no.

I am trying to focus on the positives this cycle. I am trying not to remember the cancelled cycles, or tell myself I got 2 eggs, then 1 egg… It can’t get any worse can it? I don’t want a no egg cycle to add to my collection. When I last cycled the weather was miserable and I was miserable. I had the plague, or according to the doctor, a “chest infection”. Lies. I felt so sick during stims I struggled to eat anything and as a result failed with the good protein diet I had devised for myself. I felt defeated from the start and being so poorly the whole thing just kind of passed me by while I slept. I’m hoping the sickness was a result of the “chest infection” (plague) and not the high dose of stims because I’m on the maximum dose again this time. But this time I am not going to get sick. This time I am going to be a protein machine. This time I would like most of my follicles to contain EGGS please ovaries, and not be 75% empty.

I’m writing drivel, I know. Sorry. Basically, I’m pretending this time is different. And it’s sunny outside.

My friends on the whole have been either amazing with me and my IVF and IF woes, or absolutely shite. It’s surprised me just how useless and thoughtless some of my best friends could be. Anyways, their loss. Lolz. I have however found a whole bunch of amazing new friends through my blog and twitter. They have made this cycle better already – I’ve had lucky Pregnacare Conception donated to me from the almost-ready-to-pop-pregnant @duffeddream, some super dooper supplements from my nutritionalist expert Fertility Doll and possibly the biggest book I have ever seen in my life (in my fave post apocalyptic genre) to keep me going through all the waiting and stressing from my lovely pal @soopsIVF. And so many texts, emails and tweets of good luck. Seriously guys, how can this fail?

My first monitoring appointment will be on Friday, day 6 of stims; the earliest I’ve ever had a monitoring appointment. These have always been dreadful in the past. I am a dreadful, disappointing, inexplicably bad responder. Someone give me a medal.

I am officially not thinking about the looming scan, starting from now. I am thinking about all the good stuff I’m feeding my body, all the good wishes I’ve had from y’all, the extra supplements I’m taking, fresh air, sunshine, good books and happy thoughts. This time is going to be different, it’s going to be better. Or at least I can pretend it’s going to be for another 4 days until everything goes tits up again.

BB xx

P.s. We haven’t played the who-do-you-fancy game in a while. Who is your current fancy? I have been so sad… I DON’T HAVE ONE. I’ve been watching Sons of Anarchy so I guess Jax, but meh. His beard is weird.

P.p.s. Did you drink milk during stims? How much did you have?


38 thoughts on “It’s time again

  1. julieann081

    Wishing you all the best and hoping you feel better soon! I currently fancy Misha Collins (Cas on Supernatural).

    1. barrenbetty Post author

      Thanks! I haven’t actually watched supernatural, but it sounds like the kind of thing I’d like. I’m going to add it to my to-watch list 🙂

  2. Jenn

    Good luck on the cycle! I don’t know medical gibberish but I hope the protein and supplements help!

    YAY for good friends! I’m assuming you didn’t name me because you didn’t want to offend everyone else since you obv love me the mostest.

    I honestly don’t know who I fancy right now. All I have been watching is Hart of Dixie recently, so how about Wade? (You probably don’t know who that is, since you’re so very British). He’s hot and I love him and I would cheat on N for him. I’m not even a little joking. Plus, I clearly love the bad boys. The lawyer guy is SO boring and drab. Give me a bartender over a lawyer any day.. I married a bouncer after all!

    1. barrenbetty Post author

      Thanks chick! I didn’t name you because I didn’t want to remind you that I haven’t replied to your email yet… Which I’m doing now so don’t cry.
      I had to google Wade and Hart of Dixie, because I’d never heard of it. He does look hot. I don’t think I can get that programme here, otherwise I’d totally watch it.

    1. barrenbetty Post author

      Ah, I love Eric too. I hate milk so much but I’m forcing it down with some protein powder every day. Vom. I had a memory that someone had a clinic tell them to drink loads of milk, but I don’t think I could do it.

    2. redbluebird

      Eric from TB is always the first to come to mind for me too. It’s kind of disturbing. I feel like I’m in Jr. High again and I won’t take the hint that the hot older guy is not into me.

  3. kiftsgate

    yeeeah I like this BB with positive attitude. It’s contagious! I hope so much that it will all work perfectly! Today I was talking about Kim Rossy Stuart with a colleague. He’s not a new fancy but still really fancy him!
    Hoping so much for you! xx

    1. barrenbetty Post author

      Ooh, I’d never even heard of him before, but good choice!! 😉

      Thanks for the good wishes… I’m glad I only have to wait until Friday for a scan. I’m getting nervous now! xxx

  4. Isabelle

    Hey BB. Good luck with everything. It’s about time for you to get knocked up. Don’t you agree? Guess what? I don’t fancy anybody currently…. Hm…

    1. barrenbetty Post author

      Hello! Thanks for the good luck 🙂 I totally agree… I think it’s time we both did! I need to catch up on blogs, I feel like I don’t know what you’re upto right now and I don’t like it! How are you doing? xxx

  5. Gio

    BB – Just started following you. Loved reading your blog. I have recently started my own based on my IVF journey and read so much in here that I could relate to. Good luck xx

    1. barrenbetty Post author

      Hello! I’m following your blog now too. Good luck with the impending egg collection! I’m jealous you are a pro at your injections… I’ve done so, so many over the last 18 months and I still bruise the hell outta myself :/

  6. NotSoNewtoIVF

    Yay for stims! This time will be awesome…I have decided and so it will be.
    First time round I drank protein shakes made with milk… Didn’t bother this time, got less eggs… related? Who the fuck knows but an easy thing to do.
    Errr and Jax is hot… It does help when he takes his shirt off! The beard is a little weird, but his accent is worse – he’s a jordie!
    Hang in there sugar tits xx

    1. barrenbetty Post author

      I can at least pretend it’s going to be awesome for a few more days! I really doubt that anything we eat or drink makes a difference. Neither of my clinics told me to do anything different. Just said to carry on like normal! At least filling my face with protein and milk makes me feel like I’m doing something…

      I didn’t realise he was English!

  7. ivfbegins

    *ahem* I was gona wish you good luck etc etc, but then I read the Jax comment and SORRY WHAT NOW?! Jax is officially smoking and the beard is sexy as hell.
    Ok I feel better now.
    Good luck Betty! I’m really really rooting for you xx

  8. myhopejar

    This time is going to be different! I’m saying too just in case saying lots helps 🙂 Everything is crossed for you hon. Praying this cycle is the one!

  9. The infernal infertile

    I’m so like you… I Expect everything to go wrong and I’m almost never disappointed.

    But I’ve had the unicorns in my back yard shitting up a storm so I can sprinkle magical unicorn doodie in the air… And wish you every damn bit of good fortune possible for this next step.

  10. GK

    Good luck for this cycle. I hope the injections get better and you can stop doing the gran/marathon runner shuffle.

    Current crush hasn’t changed for a while, Idris Elba in The Wire (not as Mandela) and Will Smith but only in I Robot when he was buff. Also watching The Mentalist at the moment and I quite like Simon Baker but he’s a little too feminine. I think I need to find a new crush soon, all suggestions welcome.

    1. barrenbetty Post author

      Ah yes, Idris is a good one, and Will Smith is a long time fancy of mine. I’ve never been a Simon Baker fan but I’m not sure why… I think he looks a bit like someone I know!! What about Jamie Dornan? He is hot.
      Thanks for the good luck. I just wish I had a crystal ball so I could see how this was going to work out for us all xxx

  11. redbluebird

    I really wish more Americans would say “tits up.” Makes me laugh and laugh and laugh.
    I’ve rekindled my romance with Christian Slater lately. I loved him back in the day of Heathers, when it was acceptable to hang up magazine photos of hot movie stars on the wall of your bedroom. I saw him in something recently and he’s still as hot as ever.
    Wishing you so much good luck this time around. If anyone deserves a happy ending right now, you do. xo

    1. barrenbetty Post author

      Haha!! I guess it’s a pretty strange saying now thinking about it!! Christian Slater, interesting. Old school. I might need to watch him in something to verify his fanciability.
      Thanks for the good luck 🙂 I am soooo fed up of this now, I really hope this is the last cycle I ever do (and because it ends well, not because it turns me mental) xxx


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