I had a dream last night about Wagon Wheels and now I really want one. Wagon Wheels are the worst biscuit ever aren’t they? The sensible part of my head knows that this is true, but I can’t for the life of me remember what they taste like. They taste bad don’t they? It’s like eating chocolate in America isn’t it, apart from it’s globbed round a soggy biscuit and marshmallow? The other thing that bugs me about Wagon Wheels is the name. They are called Wagon Wheels because they look like the wheels of a wagon…. just like nearly every other biscuit, yo. I’m not sure why I am telling you this, but it seemed very important in the night so I will record it just incase the significance comes back to me.
Also, one more thing about Wagon Wheels. They are big, so as a greedy child I would always choose one because they were the biggest biscuit. Then I’d have to eat it and I would look around in envy at all the other kids scoffing good biscuits, real biscuits, like custard creams and bourbons, party rings and jammy dodgers. My other mistake as a greedy child was the dreaded “tea cake”, which isn’t a tea cake but a marshmallow ball on a biscuit with chocolate on top. I should write “marshmallow” because that stuff is more like marshmallow diarrhea.
Ok, I’ve googled the teacakes and apparently it is not marshmallow, it is meringue. It is not meringue.
The other thing I feel I need to get off my chest is how much I hate, HATE, Utrogestan. How I miss the sweet bum bullet cyclogest. Utrogestan looks innocuous enough. Small little pessaries. A seasoned IVFer would laugh in the face of Utrogestan, but the joke would be on them. A few hours after the Utrogestan is in place, you will awake from your slumber convinced you have accidentally wet the bed. But no, no what is this? This is not right… you appear to be weeing hot, malten, PVC glue. You will probably ignore it, because you’re asleep and everything, and then you will wake up welded like cement to your bed sheet. That mo fo sets like concrete. It’s worse than when you leave the dregs of Weetabix in the cereal bowl and it doesn’t come off even after 10 goes in the dishwasher.
Grossed out? You’re all welcome.
With my BFN last cycle I started spotting at something stupid like 6dp3dt, with full on AF by 8dp3dt. By the time my OTD arrived, the clinic had already had the audit review of my cycle and my period was a distant memory. My first cycle last summer that worked, then ended horribly, I had a positive HPT on 8dp2dt.
Today, at a grand total of 7dp2dt I have horrendous, truly horrendous cramp, and spotting. Is my period is doing it’s usual and turning up uninvited to the party early? It certainly feels that way. I am really not hopeful.