Time to get stabby, again

I haven’t blogged for a while again. Soz.

I am used to hearing people whine about birth control pills… How they make them CRAZY, how they make them tired, a mental bitch, thirsty, and blah, waa, blah. I used to think, whatever. People exaggerate. They are so blooming, over the top. I took the pill for years. Year and years and YEARS and I wasn’t a mental bitch that whole ti… oh.

I had to take norethisterone for a week. No idea why. Scheduling? No idea. And my goodness me I was feeling all the feelings. I mean, all the bad ones.

Anyways, that’s all over and done with now and lucky for you I concentrated on revelling in my misery rather than writing it down. You’re most welcome.

So I believe I have nothing much to report. I start stims tonight, again. I’m taking letrozole and 450iu Menopur, again. I am guzzling a high protein diet, again. I am drinking whole milk, again. On day 6 I will start cetrotide, again. And my first scan will be in a week, where I hope to God there is not a replay of any previous cycles again. Hmm. That math don’t look good does it? (Same + same + same) x more same = different?

I’m too scared to think too much about this cycle, so I am off now to bury my head in the sand.

BB xx

P.s. Current fancy, Evan Peters. Weird, right?
P.p.s Do not judge me on this until you have watched Season 2 of American Horror Story.


33 thoughts on “Time to get stabby, again

  1. Arwen

    It probably doesn’t feel like it to you but it feels like this has come around quickly! I am really, really hoping this time is different in the one and only important way = a real live baby eventually born healthy and safely. Thinking of you!

    1. barrenbetty Post author

      Thank you! It’s been three months since my last cycle and I agree… It’s flown by!! I think it might be because instead of looking forward to it, this time I am just filled with 100% dread. Argh! xxx

  2. Hope4babyover40 (@Hope4babyover40)

    Wishing you all the luck in the world Betty, and really hoping this cycle works for you. I’m just starting on my first… not much fun is it? One thing I did read though is that cow’s milk contains galactose which is actually toxic to human eggs… I know the advice is to drink whole milk but I’ve cut dairy out completely (apart from a rather large amount of butter on some frankly delicious white bread yesterday, but please keep that to yourself).
    Will be waiting for news! xx

    1. barrenbetty Post author

      Thank you! You too. I found my first cycle pretty confusing… It’s a daunting process. Hopefully one you will only do once! I’ve read a lot of conflicting advice about milk but on the whole, I’ve decided to err on the side of it being beneficial. I actually don’t think I could survive cutting out diary – you’re a strong woman! I love cheese waaaaay too much 😉 x

    1. barrenbetty Post author

      Hehe, thanks Steph! He is a new fancy of mine 😉 I’m dreading this cycle so much, well and truly keeping my head in the sand. Hope you’re doing okay xxx

  3. myhopejar

    I used to think the same thing about the bcps, but both times I had to take it for IVF, I thought I would lose it. The moods and the headaches were crazy! I remember saying to my hubby, “how can I be reacting like this? I took the pill for 14 years!”

    Keeping everything crossed for you! Please God, please universe, let this be it!

    1. barrenbetty Post author

      Exactly! I thought I’d be fine on the norethisterone for a few days but I was so emotional and grumpy!!! Can’t wait for this to be over, but I’m so scared I wish it wasn’t happening at the same time.

      Thanks xxx I really hope this is it too but I can’t shake the negative feelings :/ xxx

  4. The infernal infertile

    I had to Google Evan Peters and I have to say… I’m judging you a little! I also don’t understand why everyone swoons for Benedict Cumberbatch… Maybe I’m getting too old and picky?

    Anyway… It’s not same + same + same… Because this time you feel 100% doom… And that’s different! Getting rid of that annoying hope thing might just be the key…

    Seriously Betty… Really hoping things are different for you this time… No more shit sandwiches for our BB please!

    1. barrenbetty Post author

      Err, watch American Horror Story S2 THEN judge me, thank you very much. He is a bit young though 😡 Urgh, I really don’t get Benedict C, yak.

      That’s so true! I am 100% gloom! desperation and despair this time! I was at most only 80% last time. I hope there are no more shit sandwiches in store… Urgh, I want this all over already :/ x

      1. The infernal infertile

        Ok ok… I’ll hold off on the judginess… For now anyway…

        I wanted everything to be different this cycle too, and then Wills and Kate announced their pregnancy… I mean seriously? WTF! If I lose this one I’ll get to watch both royal babies grow up and constantly taunt me about how big my babies would have been. Feels like the most terrible of omens.

        You keep that gloom, desperation and despair going! Hope is for losers…


  5. Smile

    Totally feel you on the birth control – I took it for YEARS and either maybe I don’t remember feeling like shit all the time (although to be fair most of those years were my days of lots of partying and hangovers, so maybe it was just masked) or I had gotten used to it. Either way it now makes me feel like shit during IVF and you couldn’t pay me to go back on it. Really hoping that this cycle is it for you, I demand that your ovaries listen and behave themselves. Hear that ovaries? Tons of amazing follicles, healthy eggs, total fertilization and healthy embryos ending with healthy and happy baby – I will personally kick your little ovary asses if you do not cooperate!

    1. barrenbetty Post author

      Umm, hell yes please, listen ovaries you goddam fucktards! I’m really dreading this cycle. Just want to know if we will get any embryos. Urgh, I hate this all now xxx

  6. kiftsgate

    No judgment from me though I feel this is yet another confirmation that we won’t be fighting over a man. 😉
    If it helps I have had different+different+different = same.. it’s that stupid outcome at the end that needs to change. And it needs to change NOW! before we both go completely nuts…
    Hoping loads for you lovely!! xx

    1. barrenbetty Post author

      Hehe… phew 🙂 although I’ve seen you and I think I’m about 50% taller and bigger than you so I reckon I’d win in a fight anyway.

      Oh no, your equations aren’t working either. GRR!!! We definitely need a better outcome. A MUCH better outcome. Seriously, it’s way past our turn. We keep getting overtaken! xxx

      1. kiftsgate

        You may be underestimating me… I am much smaller but I’m very quick and strong… no not really, you would totally smash me in a fight..
        but really size it not all. I learnt that watching sumo wrestlers in japan this summer. There was this massive guy who kept losing from a smaller and thinner one. I felt bad for the big guy..
        Yes it is way past our turn! let’s say we oversee this overtaking but, Dear Universe, it is most certainly our turn now!! xx

      2. barrenbetty Post author

        I love that you just compared me to a sumo wrestler 😂 Have you ever had a fight in one if those padded sumo wrestler suits? We used to have them at university parties.

      3. kiftsgate

        woman, i didn’t compare you to a sumo wrestler!! It was just an example… I guess I should have used something like lions or other beautiful animals..
        You used to have sumo wrestler suits parties? You Brits are wild!!! Never tried. Too bad I’m too old for it now..

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