Monitoring appointment, ft. One Direction

I went all by my little self to my appointment yesterday. The trains were less than ideal, so an hour long appointment took me 6 hours door to door. Marvellous.

You may have noticed I have become slightly obsessed with the songs that they play in the waiting room (no Skinny Love today, fact fans). I spied yesterday that there is a suggestions box in the corner and before I leave I am definitely going to suggest pan pipes. I’ve been trapped in that gloomy waiting room for some appointments, surrounded by weeping women and fake flowers, for hours and hours while I listened to the pained screechings of a dying cat. Oh, I mean “music”. I have devised a scoring chart for forthcoming appointments:

10 = Top Notch, e.g. pan pipes – nothing offensive or distressing here. Doesn’t interfere with kindle reading etc, etc.
9 = Inoffensive Drivel, e.g. easy listening
8 = Normal music
7 = Joke Music, e.g. The Lion King
6 = Slightly Irritating Drivel, e.g. Taylor Swift
5 = One Direction
4 = Melancholy, e.g. Skinny Love, Birdy
3 = Tear Jerkers, e.g. All By Myself, Celine Dion
2 = Depressing, e.g. Radiohead
1 = Candle in the Wind

Waiting room songs from today:

Beneath Your Beautiful, Labrinth ft. Emeli SandΓ©
It’s like an itch I can’t scratch reading that song title.
Melancholy was the first word that sprung to mind so that was easy – 4.
I checked that’s how they spell it, grammar police. Don’t come crying to me.


Bleeding Love, Leona Lewis
Oh why oh why oh why don’t I have a shit song category. It’s pretty bleeding miserable – 4.

Holding Back The Years, Simply Red
Simply one of the worst things to ever invade my ears. However, this isn’t a singing competition, so – 9.

Everytime, Britney Spears
Love a bit of Britney me, but good grief this is depressing. It’s also screechy and a) hurt my ears and b) severely impacted kindle concentration – 2.

Son of a Preacher Man, Aretha Franklin
Amazing. 8.

Shit. There is something very wrong with my scoring system if Simply Red comes out above Aretha Franklin.

Underneath Your Clothes, Shakira
Someone in the waiting room hummed along to this entire song. This isn’t the video where she rolls around in the dirt with Rafael Nadal is it? That just gave me an idea that they should play the videos on the TV screen instead of photographs of wildlife. Anyways, I digress – 6.

How Am I Supposed To Live Without You, Michael Bolton
Can I do emoticons on WordPress? Me right now —–> πŸ˜‚
– 2

I Was Born To Try, Delta Goodrem

Oh God I have to rate this a 6.

Okay, that comes to 41, which is an average score of 5.12, One Direction. Interesting.

I’m straying so far away from the purpose of this blog post that I’m not sure I can reign in back in. My first monitoring scan, day 8 of stims. It didn’t go great, no surprises there. I’ve had first scans that looked dreadful (just a massive cyst and a couple of tiny follicles) and ones that looked amazing (8-10 follicles all growing at the same rate, above 10mm) and the outcome of them all at egg collection was absolutely dismal. I think my monitoring appointments mean about as much as my waiting room music scoring system does.

I have 4 follicles over 10mm (11-16mm) and a few smaller ones. My problem is that my ovaries are so damaged that things that look like follicles on the scans are actually just collections of fluid that have formed in pockets of scar tissue. In addition to that, the follicles themselves often end up being empty. Based on my previous cycles if I only have these four “follicles” I will be very lucky to get 1 egg.

I’m not dwelling on it; it is what it is. My ovaries are severely damaged and as a result of that it’s extremely difficult to get my eggs out. My lining is getting too thick, again, already. Not good. I was alarmed to hear my egg collection is pencilled in for Wednesday, just 12 days after starting Menopur. I’ve always had my egg collections 15-16 days after starting stims in the past and I still ended up with immature eggs so I’m not happy about that at all. I’ll query it on Monday I guess.

I am really not looking forward to this egg collection.

As a side note, the day they play that bloody Pharrell Williams song in the waiting room is the day I rip the speakers off the walls and EAT THEM.

BB xx


44 thoughts on “Monitoring appointment, ft. One Direction

  1. vtr87

    I’m sorry your follie check wasn’t as awesome as hoped, I will be keeping fingers crossed for a better than expected Egg Retrieval!!

    Also, the mental image of someone ripping the speakers off the wall and eating them was delightful. Lol

  2. mylifeasacasestudy

    That is an incredibly strange and random collection of waiting room songs–Brittany, M. Bolton, and Aretha?!
    I hope your retrieval goes better this time–I’ll be waiting to hear from you! XOXO
    P.S. What about IF Pumpkin Smackdown–not happening this year??

    1. barrenbetty Post author

      Yep, definitely the strangest play list… I want to know where they got it from. Actually I don’t, cos it’s shit.

      No Smackdown from me I’m afraid, don’t cry too hard xx

    1. barrenbetty Post author

      Thank you xx Yeah, it’s always going to be bad with my crappy ovaries but who knows. I can’t help but keep vaguely hopeful that I might just get 2-3 normal eggs this time – I’m not even greedy!!

  3. Isabelle

    How you know all the songs that were played I have no clue. I always admire people who can do that. And I was laughing when I saw the scores. As for the scans, I am still hopeful that the follicles are filled with eggs when you get to retrieval. I really can’t wait for you to get pregnant, BB. ❀

    1. barrenbetty Post author

      Aww, thank you Isabelle! I’m hoping for some eggs in there too. I know my other cycles were dismal, but you never know. I would really just like 2-3 mature eggs that fertilise normally. Surely that’s not too much to ask?! x

  4. nuksazi

    I’m 4 days behind you on stims and learning something new everyday – is ec on day 12 not normal? Can only afford this one cycle so this is my only chance and given that I don’t even think my clinic bothers to play music in the waiting room I can’t risk letting them get anything else wrong either.

    Sorry you haven’t had better news from the scan but really hoping things improve over the weekend for you xx

    1. barrenbetty Post author

      Oh no, I think 12 days is perfectly normal!! Don’t worry! I am just a really terrible responder so I am always on them for longer. Good luck with your cycle, let me know how you get on x

  5. journeyformybaby

    Your music scoring system is certainly… one of a kind. Hahaha! I bet I don’t know 3 of those songs. I feel so very out of the loop.

    I hope your follicles surprise you this time. In a good way of course. πŸ™‚

  6. Jennie

    That is a long time to be trapped in a waiting room. My RE is usually pretty good but I always have a pair of headphones on me just in case. I am so sorry this cycle has been so difficult. You are due for a break!

  7. The infernal infertile

    Our waiting room has no music at all. Just the resounding silence of fear and anxiety and people trying to pretend no one else is in the room.

    Music would be great! But seeing as our Doctor always runs late (last time there were still 2 couples waiting to see him when our appt time was due) I’d settle for longer sofas so I could sleep. The current ones are just short enough to cut off circulation in your legs when you dangle them over the end.

    Maybe there’s a business opportunity for us? We could work together on creating the perfect IF clinic waiting room… You could start with the music, but seriously, if you play pan pipes over my luxurious sofas… We might have to break up.

    1. barrenbetty Post author

      While I was sat there I did decide that deafening silence would be worse!!! Ooh, I like the long sofas idea. Our waiting room is tiny so there are lots of tiny chairs all squashed in looking at the fake flowers and baby magazines (WHY DO THEY DO THAT).

      There is so a business opportunity. The waiting rooms would be so good nobody would be even faffed with going in to their appointments.

      My second idea after pan pipes is 80s music like Boy George and Bananarama.

      1. barrenbetty Post author

        Karma karma karma karma karma chameleon… you come and gooo, you come and gooo ooo ooooooo was exactly what was going around my head when I had the idea! Win!

  8. kiftsgate

    Oh BB you are a song written by the hands of God! (dont worry my thoughts dont go right under your clothes.. )
    You are making me feel happy about the fact that we have no music at all in the waiting room of clinics..
    Sorry about your silly ovaries. I just hope those 4 follies mean you’ll have 4 perfect eggs!
    Good luck for Monday and even more for Wednesday of course!

    1. barrenbetty Post author

      Why does she sing like she has a mouth full of marbles?

      I hope they have eggs in too. Most peoples fecking follicles have eggs in, why not mine?! Bleugh. Find out soon enough xxx

  9. rayplaag02

    You have such a great sense of humour! I love reading your blog πŸ™‚
    P.S. I’ve nominated for you a One Lovely Blog Award

    The other criteria for accepting a One Lovely Blog Award are:

    List the rules.
    Thank your nominator.
    List seven (7) facts about yourself.
    Nominate 15 other bloggers and let them know you did.
    Display the award logo and follow your nominator.

    1. barrenbetty Post author

      Aww thank you very much! I’m following your blog now too… Sounds like endo has caused you similar problems to me, although it has really damaged both of my ovaries *yay*. Good luck with your journey, I’ll be following along πŸ™‚ x

  10. myhopejar

    I just loved your song scoring system! Too funny! The music really is awful at your clinic! I’m sorry your monitoring appointment wasn’t great. I really hope a few more follies catch up in the next few days and that they all have a perfect egg in them this time! I will be thinking about you on Wednesday and sending so many prayers!

    1. barrenbetty Post author

      Thank you so much! I need to write another post but today’s scan looked better. I just wish follicles equalled eggs!! Oh well. I will find out soon enough. Looks like egg collection will be Friday, eek! xxx

  11. viv

    just keep going one foot in front of the other, it may well be like the other collections and cycles. but you know you’ll have done eveyrthing you can, and if you chose not to do more IVF after this you can do so with a clear conscience and no guilt to anyone else (no matter how close they are to you).
    Been checking MFP and well done on the nuts and protein. you are doing everything in your power. I also read sugar stops egg development so I totally cut that out after my shit day 8 scan and only had food with a glyceimic index under 35. who knows if that was a factor in my late surge from 4 follies to 13 eggs, but worth mentioning.

    keep strong love.

    1. barrenbetty Post author

      Thanks Viv! I’m so nervous after what the doctors have told me but at least more follicles gives me more chances, even if most of them end up empty. I’ve been a bit lame at remembering to record things on MFP this week… Apart from the odd juice I’ve pretty much given up sugar by accident because I am so goddam full from all the protein! I bet it makes no difference whatsoever but like you say, at least I feel like I’ve tried everything this way. This cycle has been so much more difficult, I don’t want to do anymore after this. Is exhausting :/ Roll on Friday x

      1. viv

        yup, i feel you. i want a baby, but I dont want this to be my life anymore. omri and i talked about it and if this baby does miscarry we wont even use the frozen blasts. Just cant keep going through it and putting our lives on hold. on one hand it seems silly – I’ve gone through alot this cycle to get those blasts, but I dont want to go through any more. But I do appreciate that its easier for me to do that as it did work once so i already have the star prize – I’m not suggesting its easy for you to continue through the process or stop it either way.

        i’m glad there are follices there. it could be like before and there might still be few eggs, but you’ll get more eggs from 11 potential follies than from 3.

        I have hope for you. My entire twitter feed is now pregnant it seems, so there must be something in the water. get drinking πŸ˜‰

  12. Pingback: Delayed. | barrenbetty

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