I slipped on a banana skin.

I really did. An actual banana skin. In the street. FFS. Who eats a banana then chucks the skin on the floor anyway? Since when did litter louts start eating fruit? AND I can confirm that when you slip on a banana skin, you really do slip like they do in the cartoons: legs in the air, arse on the floor. Behold, the offending banana skin:

I’ve been watching a lot of South Park in a bid to cheer myself up this week and it has the look of a jumping and waving Mr Hankey The Christmas Poo to me*.

At first I thought I’d slipped in dog sh*t/Mr Hankey, then I saw it was a banana skin. I am adding this to my portfolio of evidence that someone up there has it in for me.

Apart from that, I’ve not been up to much that doesn’t involve lying face-down crying somewhere. Time is going sloooow. 9dp5dt. I would SO have tested today if I didn’t already have hCG in my system. Boring.

I am still pleased to report there is no sight nor sound of The Witch. I believe that by this time last cycle she had pretty much already been, done her worst, and gone so this is definite progress. My cramps are continuing to be alarmingly painful, but they are coming and going unlike the persistent, escalating cramps of my BFN cycles.

14 days post egg collection during my last 2 cycles I knew without a shadow of a doubt it was over. I’d already stopped progesterone and had a period. 14 days post egg collection following my first cycle I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I was pregnant. I have no idea this cycle. The cramps are bad, but they haven’t reached my BFN level Give Up All Hope It’s Over bad. The progesterone and hCG might just be artificially keeping The Witch at bay. Who knows.

Not me. I’ve been very up and down this cycle. I’m sure without the frozen embryos it would have been even harder, so I am very grateful for those*.

*short interlude for a cry.

I’ve already said a lot that this is my last cycle. This road has been too long for me now. It’s over 4 years since we started to try and conceive and 3 years since I started fertility tests. It’s been 2 years since my last ‘big’ operation and 20 months since we started IVF. I have nothing to show for that time except a severely diminished bank account, a few extra pounds and a lot more grey hair. This is getting depressing isn’t it? Forgotten my point. Oh yes, last cycle. (I wonder if when push comes to shove I would actually do one final hurrah cycle before chucking the towel in? Not sure.) I think it has meant the lows and the worries have been worse this time. The weight of how long this has taken and how terrible it’s been along the way is heavy man, heavy, and I’m right at the end of the road.

Well, not quite right at the end because it’s still another 12 days until I get the results of this cycle.

BB xx

*really got that song stuck I’m my head now.

35 thoughts on “I slipped on a banana skin.

  1. Arwen

    This is the longest wait ever! I am not surprised you’re going insane!! Keep trudging on through though. You can do this ! 12 days to go….

  2. pregnant in my forties - hopefully

    So glad to read this, I’ve been checking in often. Really sorry that you fell – effing banana skins! That really is like a cliche out of the Beano! Sounds like you’re at an exhausted, worried low point that is only completely natural and the only way out of that is through it. Personally I would be happy with a 6 month wait to postpone a depressing ending but then I’m a weirdo.
    Anyway. The good news is no period yet, and that little baby bb could still be there happily tucked into the warm sucking its thumb, metaphorically speaking. Thinking of you loads – our munchkins are all 14 days old today so let’s just keep that thought going xxx

    1. barrenbetty Post author

      True… I think I’ve just become cynical and fed up after so many cycles! I didn’t start off this bad, I swear! I forgot but we had our egg collections on the exact same day didn’t we? I’d so have tested by now if I were you, haha.

      Slipping on the banana skin did actually make me think of the beano when it happened. I used to LOVE the beano!!

  3. pregnant in my forties - hopefully

    Sorry – nothing more annoying than a newbie full of enthusiasm and positivity. Ha just give me 4 cycles and then see if you can find any rainbows!
    Yes ec Sept 26th – which would mean in normal world my AF would be due today so I might test tomorrow if today is no show. Just don’t dare burst this pupo bubble too soon.

    1. barrenbetty Post author

      Haha… No I need more positivity! I hope you never get to find out what it’s like to go through so many cycles!! All my BFN cycles I’ve bled well before my period was due so fingers crossed that the no-show is a good sign for you x

    1. barrenbetty Post author

      Err, shouldn’t you be on a honeymoon or something Mrs?! Stop reading blogs!! 😉 Time is dragging so fecking bad, can’t believe I’m 9dp5dt today and I still can’t bloody test! LAME!

  4. kiftsgate

    I hope you didn’t hurt yourself slipping on the banana… did you actually fall?
    I’m glad you have no idea about the outcome. Even if it makes the wonder-wait more stressful, it’s a hell of a lot better than being sure it hasn’t worked! Here cheering on you!! xx

      1. mylifeasacasestudy

        Walking on a trail, stepped on a tree nut (in the shell), rolled my ankle and *BAM* hit the ground before I knew what happened. Skinned my knees and elbows and wore bandages over ooozing wounds for 2 weeks. Naturally, when my pregnancy was new and I felt incredibly fragile. Of course.

  5. Awaiting Autumn

    Is the delay in knowing due to the HCG in your system? Or are you just counting out until you have multiple betas and a definite answer? Either way, I hope everything is pointing towards positive.

    1. barrenbetty Post author

      It’s just because I’m having HCG boosters right up until close to the beta test… which is still ages away! I have no idea why it’s so late. I think it’s probably just because they are too busy to fit me in :/

      1. barrenbetty Post author

        Well at the moment I’m having HCG boosters every 3.5 days!! And the last one is scheduled 2 days before my first beta on 20th October. How dumb is that?! That’s why they say they have to compare the 20th and the 22nd because I’ll have so much HCG in my system from the jabs. Just seems completely wrong to me given that I’m already 14 days post egg collection. If it’s worked, my betas will be at 5w3d and 5w5d pregnant?! I’m going to call them next week before I do the jabs and see what they say. I’m sure sure someone has got it wrong…

      2. Awaiting Autumn

        I was doing such a small amount 15ml daily until my first beta. I even took a shot the day of my first beta, so basically they couldn’t even tell me a thing until my 3rd beta. I hope your numbers are high enough that you don’t get stuck in beta limbo.

      3. barrenbetty Post author

        It’s so strange how different all the protocols are. My dose is pretty big, but only twice a week. It’s frustrating if it means you end up in beta limbo too. I’ve been reading your updates and I’m so sorry you’ve had such a tough time of it xxx

  6. Molly

    That’s so weird that they’re not testing you for another 12 days. I don’t get it. That’s almost a 4 week wait! Do they think you’re superhuman or something?

    1. barrenbetty Post author

      Lol. I know!! What a joke. It’s because they’ve put me on HCG jabs for so long (three weeks post 5 day transfer!!) I’m sure it’s because they are too busy to test me earlier. Blah.

  7. ecutri

    I can’t believe how long of a wait you have. I can’t believe you slipped on a banana peel! I’m here sending you bums and am so happy to hear you got some frosties! I’ll be stalking you praying and hoping that you get a positive result on your test! 12 more days, really?

    1. barrenbetty Post author

      I know. It’s so lame. It’s because they’ve given me 3 weeks of hCG boosters post transfer. Bleugh. I’m calling them next week because it just seems like too much to me…

      Thanks for the bums. I’ve missed them!!! Totally sick of IVF now. I am well and truly ready to get off this stupid train.

    1. barrenbetty Post author

      Ahahaha. I have to confess, I did that this summer myself in the allotment. I was hit square in the face though. I checked to see if anyone saw me to do it (they didn’t) then I pretended I was okay even though I wanted to cry.

  8. Fertility Doll

    “In 2001, there were more than 300 banana-related accidents in Britain, most involving people slipping on skins.” I don’t know how they collect these stats but it’s on the interwebs so it must be true.

    I’m wishing away the next couple of weeks for you. Please universe let it be BB’s turn. x

  9. Isabelle

    I hope your bum is okay! This is like the longest wait ever following a day 5 transfer. I am happy that the witch is no where to be found though. So hopeful for you this cycle!

    1. barrenbetty Post author

      Thank you! I’m a bag of nerves but I’m feeling hopeful too. Probably cos I’m pumped full of hCG so I feel pregnant, haha. It’s such a stupidly long wait, I think it’s really mean. They obviously don’t appreciate how stressful this all is!

  10. The infernal infertile


    A banana skin? Seriously? Only you BB…

    I totally know how you feel about being at the end of the road… Before our last attempt I honestly didn’t think I could face it again. It seemed so overwhelming and so certain to end in failure and heartache again. But we just weren’t ready to say it was over…

    Hang in there my friend… And for the love of god… Stay away from banana skins…

    1. barrenbetty Post author

      It’s the combination of everything, how much it takes over your life, the financial strain, emotional. Since I had my first big operation 2.5 years ago our life has been nothing but hospitals and misery, I can’t do it anymore.

      I still can’t believe I slipped on a banana skin.

  11. journeyformybaby

    I lol’d about the banana… several times. I’m sorry.

    12 More days?!?!? This is insane! I don’t believe that testing the beta now and again in 2 days is very much different than doing the same thing in 12 (!!!) more days! But I’m no dr. Obviously. Still though, it’s not fair to make you wait, hcg boosters or not.

    1. barrenbetty Post author

      I KNOW! It’s pissing me off so bad now. At the time I was so elated to have a blast I wasn’t listening to them, but now I’m bored and stressed. It’s only that long because they have me on the hCG boosters for an additional 1.5 weeks for no apparent reason. I bet they just couldn’t fit me in to do the betas. They don’t normally do them and they are really busy. Lame.


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