Red used to be my favourite colour. 8 years ago today my bridesmaids wore dark red/maroon dresses and I had red flowers.
Now I hate the colour red.
I especially hate it when it’s heavy, full of clots and coming out of me when I am 7.5 weeks pregnant. Happy anniversary, Betty.
I know. I know, I know, I know people can bleed in early pregnancy and everything is fine. It’s also exactly what a miscarriage looks like. At least it is when it’s heavy like the bleeding I’ve had.
My scan is tomorrow but I’m not feeling particularly optimistic anymore. I don’t feel pregnant at all either. I know it’s early, but I wouldn’t mind a little reassurance from some part of my body.
The bleeding has eased now. I’ve actually been bleeding for days, but that was only very lightly and I put it down to irritation from the pessaries. This heavy bleeding was most definitely not that. I think the heavy bleeding has stopped, at least for now.
I was wishing Wednesday would hurry up, but now I sort of don’t want it to happen.
I hate red.