Christmas cake update & even more

Yo babes.

I’ve done loads of cleaning this last week. The fact that this is news is an indication of the level of clean my house usually enjoys. Other things:

1. Christmas “cake” update: I have attempted to deflect attention from the undercooked “cake” with an intricate marzipan decoration. We will see how this pans out probably in January when someone gets round to releasing it from its greaseproof paper and foil chamber.

2. I bought Mr B some new work shirts. Here are a couple of my favourite reviews during my research (review reading is fast becoming my new favourite hobby):

“I can say that the shirts have not lasted well. When the sleeves have been folded up in the summer due to the heat, if you are not careful you can easily put your elbow through the fabric and tear it – as others have said – … Be very careful if folding the sleeves up.”

Those damn shirts with weak elbows. I’ll have to remember to tell Mr B to be careful when rolling his sleeves up. It’s *so* annoying when your man comes home with holes in his shirt because his elbows bust out of them *again*.

“The shirt is lovely but all the buttons fell off within 20 minutes. This resulted in me spending an hour in the bathroom of the office trying to sew them back on.”

If all the buttons fell off my new shirt in 20 minutes I would not describe the shirt as “lovely”, I would describe it as “shit”.

3. For the first time in my life I have used vacuum packed bags for storage. Oh my days. How did I not discover these sooner? They vacuum stuff, like, well small. What was once a mountain of spare bedding is now a shiny, rock hard, 2 ton nugget under my bed.

4. Amazon prime. You order stuff one day and it arrives the next day… even on a Sunday. Amazon prime has a lot to answer for (vacuum pack bags, a bumper pack of magic erasers and several packages for Mr B which I strongly suspect are Playstation games and CDs, to name a few).

5. Magic erasers. I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again. You need them in your life. Those bitches are MAGIC.

6. I couldn’t sleep last night and I decided to get up and measure the circumference of my head. According to FACT (google), the average human head circumference is 53 cm in females and 57 cm in males. My head circumference is 57cm. The fuck.

BB xx

41 thoughts on “Christmas cake update & even more

  1. A Calm Persistence

    I am seriously addicted to magic erasers! They are seriously the best invention ever, vacuum storage bags are also incredible. I just discovered them a few months ago because our cabin has no storage. I thought I’d give them a try.. well, I now have them at my house for spare bedding, clothes, and even beach towels! They are amazing!! ๐Ÿ™‚

    1. barrenbetty Post author

      I think I’ve burnt out, sorry. Could hardly be arsed to move an inch today. I have done 2 loads of washing though… and hung them up to dry! Progress!! We appear to only have fish fingers, mouldy tomatoes and one potato to share for tea though. Nobody is perfect.

  2. kiftsgate

    I expect a picture of this Christmas cake at some point. I still dont really understand what it is..
    Thanks for sharing the shirt reviews. that was a good laugh!
    Do magic erasers erase stuff like days spent looking for your wallet when your brain doesn’t work properly? If so, I most certainly need a stock!!
    My head circumference is 57cm. Can you imagine though? I am much shorter than you. I must look weird being tiny and with such a big head!!

    1. barrenbetty Post author

      I’m so disappointed I forgot to take one. I’ve given it to my mum now so it’s gone. One day I will give you a piece of Christmas cake and you will be entirely underwhelmed, it’s kinda boring and stodgy.

      Err, I’ve not tried a magic eraser on my brain yet, only in the bathroom and kitchen but they are SO GOOD I bet they work on brains too. Buy some!

      1. kiftsgate

        Can I have a banoffee pie instead? Or carrot cake? Or scones? Not that I don’t appreciate the offer but I don’t think I’ll be a big fun of the Christmas cake, if it’s anything like Italian ones..

        OK, I’ll see if I can find the magic erasers!

      2. barrenbetty Post author

        Carrot cake is the only cake I can make! You can have carrot cake! Or banana bread. That’s it, I can’t do anything else. I reckon I could attempt a banoffee pie too cos they look about my level of mixing and pouring.

    2. barrenbetty Post author

      P.s. I’m so glad you have a massive head too, although I know for a FACT yours is because it is filled with a massive brain whereas mine is filled with air.

  3. Dreaming of Diapers

    This quote,”If all the buttons fell off my new shirt in 20 minutes I would not describe the shirt as โ€œlovelyโ€, I would describe it as โ€œshitโ€.
    You just make me laugh out loud Betty….keep up the good work…I’m a tough audience. xo

  4. Elizabeth

    Wow. Hey, can you use that big head of yours and explain to me why someone would be carrying a sewing kit? Do you think it’s a common occurrence for him/her to end up in the bathroom sewing all the buttons back on his/her shirt? Maybe it’s not the shirt but the wearer? I think if you carry a sewing kit and are so experienced with it that can spark it up in the bathroom you might be inviting this kind of chaos into your life.

    I have to look into magic erasers.

    1. barrenbetty Post author

      I had the EXACT same thought myself! Why was he carrying a sewing kit? Why was he at work already if he had only had the shirt on for 20 minutes? I fear it is a mystery we may never solve.

      Dude, you need magic erasers. They will change your cleaning life (for the better).

      1. Elizabeth

        Oh Betty, I am completely strung out on magic erasers. I have every flavor. My bathroom has never looked so good. What is in them? It takes everything off…crap like rust!

      2. barrenbetty Post author

        Lol. This comment made me laugh so hard!! They are SO GOOD. Nobody believes me until they try them. How can one cloth be better than another? Oh how naive I was.

        We have a really old bath and it needs re-enamelling and as a result, it kept getting bits of rust on. I scrubbed that mo fo with bleach, scourers and one particularly desperate day, a toothbrush. Magic eraser sorted it out in 2 minutes. Good as new. The only explanation I have is that they are infused with real magic.

  5. journeyformybaby

    I have no clue what a Christmas cake is. Or Marzipan. I do however love both vacuum bags and magic erasers. The shirt reviews made me laugh so hard! It took an hour to sew on a few buttons? I would have just drove home and gotten a new shirt. And what the heck were they doing with the buttons anyways to make them all fall off? ….

    1. barrenbetty Post author

      It’s basically a fruit cake. Some people put alcohol in them, but surprisingly mine is a sober one! I bet you’ve eaten marzipan. It’s an almond icing. Where I live people eat Christmas cake with slices of cheddar cheese….

      I actually cried with laughter at those shirt reviews. Where do these people come from?!!

    1. barrenbetty Post author

      I LOVE them! I can’t believe i have never seen one in all my almost-32 years. I’ve vacuum packed almost everything I own now so the fun is over for a while.

  6. InfertileGirl

    I love the tag “trivial nonsense” for this, but it is all so funny! Through all of your British-isms I swear I can hear you speaking when I read your blog (even though we’ve never met). Don’t worry though, I think you sound posh, not pikey (do Brits still use that word? Because I love it)

    1. barrenbetty Post author

      Haha, I wasn’t even aware I had any British-isms! I think you might be a bit disappointed if you could hear me speaking. I’m from the north of England so my accent is most definitely not posh (or pikey… I’ve not heard that word in a very long time!!)

  7. liesap

    I had never even heard of Magic Erasers, but I just Googled them and I now feel like they are what’s been missing from my life.
    I will also admit to measuring my head. At 55.5cm, that could be the most dainty thing about me.

    1. barrenbetty Post author

      Beautiful head! Nice. You’ll love magic erasers, trust me. They cleaned my kitchen sink and cupboards today a DREAM! They even got a mark off my bath I had scrubbed with a normal cloth (with bleach!) in a mere sweep. You need some! xx

  8. Pingback: Belated Christmas review | barrenbetty

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