I’ve done loads of cleaning this last week. The fact that this is news is an indication of the level of clean my house usually enjoys. Other things:
1. Christmas “cake” update: I have attempted to deflect attention from the undercooked “cake” with an intricate marzipan decoration. We will see how this pans out probably in January when someone gets round to releasing it from its greaseproof paper and foil chamber.
2. I bought Mr B some new work shirts. Here are a couple of my favourite reviews during my research (review reading is fast becoming my new favourite hobby):
“I can say that the shirts have not lasted well. When the sleeves have been folded up in the summer due to the heat, if you are not careful you can easily put your elbow through the fabric and tear it – as others have said – … Be very careful if folding the sleeves up.”
Those damn shirts with weak elbows. I’ll have to remember to tell Mr B to be careful when rolling his sleeves up. It’s *so* annoying when your man comes home with holes in his shirt because his elbows bust out of them *again*.
“The shirt is lovely but all the buttons fell off within 20 minutes. This resulted in me spending an hour in the bathroom of the office trying to sew them back on.”
If all the buttons fell off my new shirt in 20 minutes I would not describe the shirt as “lovely”, I would describe it as “shit”.
3. For the first time in my life I have used vacuum packed bags for storage. Oh my days. How did I not discover these sooner? They vacuum stuff, like, well small. What was once a mountain of spare bedding is now a shiny, rock hard, 2 ton nugget under my bed.
4. Amazon prime. You order stuff one day and it arrives the next day… even on a Sunday. Amazon prime has a lot to answer for (vacuum pack bags, a bumper pack of magic erasers and several packages for Mr B which I strongly suspect are Playstation games and CDs, to name a few).
5. Magic erasers. I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again. You need them in your life. Those bitches are MAGIC.
6. I couldn’t sleep last night and I decided to get up and measure the circumference of my head. According to FACT (google), the average human head circumference is 53 cm in females and 57 cm in males. My head circumference is 57cm. The fuck.