Christina Perri – Human

Alessia Cara – Here

Billy Paul – Me and Mrs Jones

Ain’t No Mountain High Enough – Marvin Gaye

Just for you because I knew you were wondering. So I was back at the clinic today for what should have been my last scan before transfer. Sigh. Looks like we will be playing the Waiting Room Theme Tune Game a while longer.

For a fleeting, extremely unwelcome moment, it looked like it was Game Over. I shall transcribe the conversation because we haven’t done that in a while and that is all the reason I need:

Me: Is everything ok, is everything ok, is everything ok, is everything ok, IS EVERYTHING OKAY

Sonographer: I’m just measuring your lining

Me: What is it?

Sonographer: The nurse will speak to you after

Me: <grits teeth>

Sonographer: Left ovary looks quiet

Me: That is good news

Sonographer: Ah. Right ovary has a large follicle

Me: This is bad news isn’t it

Sonographer: I don’t know. Aren’t you supposed to be down regulated?

Me: I don’t really know how this all works

Sonographer: I think you are supposed to be down regulated

Me: Is it the dermoid cyst? (ever the optimist*)

Sonographer: What dermoid cyst?

Me: The one on my right ovary (Give. Me. The. Dildo. Cam.)

Sonographer: <looks again but properly> Ah yes, I see it. No, it’s next to that.

Me: Are you 100% certain it is a follicle? How big is it?

Sonographer: Oh wait <rummages around> Have you ever had fluid in your tube?

Me: Maybe but they think it might be fluid that is caught in a pocket of scar tissue by my tube. It was there last time so you could compare the scan and see if it is that?

Sonographer: <more rummaging> Ah. Okay. I know what it is. It isn’t a follicle. It is an inclusion cyst.

Inclusion cyst. Why but of course. Because my ovaries are just so goddam friendly.

Anyway, panic over. My lining as it transpires is 7.9mm. Lazy. I usually have an over enthusiastic lining so I truly hope that things are looking normal next Monday and the pisser hasn’t gone overboard in the other direction.

One good thing that did come out of today was that I gathered more evidence that I am in fact a Cylon and/or a mind reader. It is all happening here in England at the moment. Big news is that we have a new £5 note that features Winston Churchill on the back. I was just busy thinking while I waited for my coffee on the way home that I had not seen one of these new notes in the flesh… and the AA numbered ones have been selling for £100+ over on eBay (presumably to complete morons). And literally, right then, I was handed one as change. Behold:

Also included as a bonus feature is my kindle and my coffee set against the back drop of the shit train I was on.

I am struggling to scrub off the gummy sticking plaster marks the oestrogen patches are leaving on my legs so I picked up some baby oil on my way home to see if it helps. I also accidentally treated myself to a new mascara and a bottle of red wine (for my lining). Not totally sure what evening the cashier thought I had in mind but it was probably more fun than it is going to be.

BB xx



8 thoughts on “Delayed.

  1. Hoping

    Oh Betty. Assuming this is successful (and obviously I hope it is) please don’t ever stop blogging. Or just become a newspaper columnist. Or write novels. Or something that keeps you out there. You’re so flipping good.
    Now, here’s to that lining. May it thicken like no lining every thickened before… All hail the mighty thickened lining! Salute!!

  2. wheresourpup

    Totally agree with the above. Girl your hilar.
    Nothing is ever straight forward eh? Well hopefully all will be right with the next one and you can crack on.
    I’m going onto a medicated cycle, appointment on Wednesday, will have to wait another month to start it.
    Have you got a grand plan if the FET wasn’t to work? Or do you just go one step at a time?

    1. barrenbetty Post author

      Good luck for Wednesday. Nothing is ever straight forward is it?! And all the bastard waiting around 😩 I have no grand plan. A few vague ideas which involve being drunk all of Christmas and eating my body weight in cheese first!

  3. EmilyMaine

    You always write with such a great sense of humour. That sonographer needs to go back to school! We have a new $5 not in AUS. Must be the time for it…that or the colony is still copying the mother land 😉

  4. A.

    Ha, the implications of your shopping item list made me LOL when you pointed it out. Yes, decidedly less fun that it looked, I imagine. Sorry about the delay. Ovaries are jerks, been screwed by mine more times than I can count.

    1. barrenbetty Post author

      In the past I have previously laughed at a man in the queue in front of me buying condoms, baby oil and champagne… but maybe I was quick to judge. Who knew what was going on back at home. Ovaries can be MASSIVE JERKS. And I am so sorry that yours have been massive jerks to you x


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