It Looks Like A Penis

If you are anything like me, you will see penises everywhere: in trees, machinery, street signs. When is an object that looks like a penis not funny? Never, that’s when.

This is my Phallic Gallery. I will keep it updated as and when I see new inanimate objects that look like penises. If you too see penises in the ordinary then please do take pictures and
email or tweet me and I shall add them to my collection.*

Enjoy, friends!

BB xx

*please note, I do not want pictures of actual penises. They are not funny (in the same way)

Penis Tree. A classic. I am learning that you can find many entertaining penis trees. This is the before shot:


I wanted to find this tree when I was on holiday, but my plans were scuppered by the weather:

Luckily for me (and you) fellow blogger Eli sent in this picture of penis trees, which are possibly even better. Sadly, the fort of penis trees around this house have since been castrated, so we salute Eli for capturing this magnificent shot before the massacre happened:

Eli also sent in this. Is it a scarecrow? Or is it a man with a massive wooden willy? You decide.

Ecutri, all round general legend and avid “it looks like a penis!” photopgraher has sent me this beautiful penis rock formation*. By her own admission, she wanted to climb to the tip (who wouldn’t?) but her husband wouldn’t let her since she’d had a glass or two of wine already. Sad times. I love the expression though. I’d be that happy too it I saw a penis rock formation.

*NOTE: Ecutri describes this as “her favourite penis rock formation.” Interesting. I’m glad you didn’t send us your, like, third favourite penis rock formation.

Viv tweeted in this penis pasta. Penises have never looked so tasty! Behold:

Now, if you are eating I’d look away now because I had Weetabix coming out of my nose after viewing these. Probably simultaneously the best and worst things I have ever seen. Emz has given us the low down behind these “grandfather” and “grandmother” rock formations in Thailand in her blog post. I urge you to click on the link. There are further penis rock formation photographs in store for you if you do. “Grandfather” rock:

“Grandmother” rock (admittedly, not a penis shape, but seriously):

Jessica emailed to alert me to the existence of geoducks. The geoduck is a species of very large, edible, saltwater clam. I’m not sure I have the words to prepare you for this, so I will let a picture do the talking. I also recommend googling them because holy cow, they are hilarious:

@ivfpincushion tweeted me a festive penis pic. Who knew that if you unwrap Father Christmas there is just a massive knob underneath?

Mumofone emailed in these penis rock formations. She is another avid It Looks Like A Penis photographer judging by the lighting and composition of these beauties.

MofO: Broken Hill – this is a sculpture gallery outside of Broken Hill in outback NSW.
BB: Majestic.

MofO: Pinnacles – these are amazing natural rock formations on Western Australia’s coast. There are masses of them and heaps of them look like penises!!! (Or is it peni – what is the plural here!!)
BB: This is hilarious. I’d probably die from laughing if I ever went there. Also, how do I not know what the plural of penises is? I’m too scared to google it incase my husband sees what I’ve been searching for on my iPad.

MofO: Cock Rock – this one is ‘stolen’ from the internet because we haven’t been here yet. It’s in Barrington Tops which is a mountain range in coastal NSW. There is apparently a local legend that if you climb it you will definitely get pregnant.
BB: Cock Rock. Snigger. Next year’s holiday destination perhaps? And can I come too? I read that as an invite?

Now my fellow It Looks Like A Penis friends, this is from the blogging legend MLACS. Her friend took this picture outside a cafe in Belgium. I would have guessed France, but Belgium makes sense. From the bottom of our hearts MLACS, thank you.

Turns out croissants and coffee go better together than we all realised:

If you have any pictures to add to the gallery then let me know!

26 thoughts on “It Looks Like A Penis

    1. barrenbetty Post author

      Ahahaha!!! Love it. I think it must be the same place as this – WordPress suggested I tag my post with it, so you must be onto something!!

      Made me laugh so much on the front page where it says, “The Icelandic Phallological Museum is probably the only museum in the world to contain a collection of phallic specimens belonging to all the various types of mammal found in a single country”

      Err, yeah. Probably.

      1. ecutri

        the largest collection of phallic shaped battery operated devices is in my house.

        no lie.

        I have DOZENS of battery operated boyfriends, but not for my enjoyment. I like the real deal. My mother in law tried to get into the business of selling them but was too embarrassed to play the flash card game with me so I could teach her all of their names and special powers. She also got really skeeved out when talking about the ‘wet spot’ and anal play [lol – reliving these moments is just as funny as when they actually happened]. I was highly entertained, she was not, she gave up and I inherited said box o’ cock.

        Hilarious, no? It’s a good conversation starter for newbies at my house…and then it’s proven.

        Something you didn’t know about me, avid penis collector.

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    1. barrenbetty Post author

      They look SO OFFENSIVE! I feel they are evidence there is a god after all because seriously, they can’t just be an accident of evolution. I can’t believe you have eaten one. I’d never even heard of them before!!! Next time I see them on the menu somewhere I am definitively giving them a crack.

      1. Isabelle

        Think sashimi. You can eat them raw like sashimi. At a restaurant, it’s cut up into thin slices and you dip it in sauces. It can also be eaten in a hotpot. Put it in hot broth and cook it slightly. Yup I am Chinese and I am weird. But I would love to eat it again. It’s expensive. It tastes so so good.

  2. mumofone

    I sent you a collection of pictures from Australia via email – keep an eye out for it because it will quite possibly just end up in your spam file!

    1. barrenbetty Post author

      Aww, thank you so much for the email! And obviously, the hilarious pictures. I am away this weekend but I am going to reply asap once I’m back… You’re email really cheered me up yesterday (which is no mean feat at the moment!!) xxx

      1. mumofone

        I love that you have noted me as MofO.
        At first I thought you’d written MOFO – I had a lovely laugh about that one 🙂

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