Tag Archives: down regulation

Patchy

As I suspected, the little witch arrived too late for a down regulation scan on Friday. I did however make it to the clinic for repeat thyroid bloods on Wednesday to Can’t Take My Eyes Off Of You, Damien Rice. Seriously.

I had a whole exciting blog post written in my head about Wednesday but sadly I’ve forgotten the entire thing aside from something about the people on the bus being smelly so probably for the best all round.

I had my down regulation scan today instead. And I got the train and nobody was smelly (or maybe that means I was?) First things first: flower news update. They have replaced the fake flowers with fresh. Apart from they are getting a bit old and my God did they stink. Maybe I have a sensitive nose (see above), but that is no excuse for half dead, mouldy flowers. You can buy flowers for £2.99 in Aldi. Maybe I’ll put that in the suggestions box.

The good news is that I am Officially Down Regulated. Hurrah! Someone give those ovaries a high five. Lining was a peachy 2.6mm. Dermoid nasty was unremarkable. My tsh results had not arrived back yet but my nurse went foraging for them and found them lurking some place. We were awarded a 2.4 so good to continue with no thyroid medication, gold star!

I have been given the green light to crack on with oestrogen patches. Hopefully this will cancel out some of the buserelin side effects because I have been somewhat of a dragon on them this time around. I just did my first patch however and had a minor whoopsie. The nurse told me the patches were ‘very sticky’. The packet it came in was very thin. I started trying to open it and peeled off the front. It was very sticky. I stuck it to my leg. It’s basically a big advert saying ‘HELLO I’M HAVING IVF’ and I have a swimming lesson tomorrow. I am not happy. So dumb to make the patches with all the information written on the outside. It has the name of the drug, the dose. This is so strange. I read the instruction leaflet. I have stuck the label to my leg. I open the pack and stick the patch to my leg instead. It is see-through and basically invisible unless your face is at the top of my leg (what the hell are you doing).

So now I have one patch, alternate days for two weeks and continue with buserelin. Then two patches on alternate days, plus buserelin, for another week. My next scan isn’t until 10th October… by which time my lining should be all beautiful and lovely and ready for a transfer.

BB xx

 

I can’t title another post “tomorrow” can I?

Tomorrow the day after today is my Big Appointment.

Tomorrow I should have a scan that will confirm that I am down regulated, which after 3 months of Zoladex injections really should happen. After that I should sign all my consent forms, I should have a mock embryo transfer and I should have an endometrial scratch. Should, should, should. Really should.

However, despite the nasty menopausal symptoms I am experiencing, I am also having heavy, regular periods and all the normal signs of ovulation every month. Sigh. My body appears to be happy to do everything (apparently even all at once). Everything that is except make a baby.

I really did want to write a blog post today, but I am so, so tired. I managed 2 hours sleep last night which has been pretty standard since November. I feel like my brain is full of cotton wool instead of brain cells. Actually, I feel like my brain is full of wire wool because I also have a constant, grating headache.

Anyway, fertility drugs are crap, as we all well know. The sensible part of my head is shouting that, “everything is fine! You feel like shit!!” but the other side of my head is reminding me of the heavy periods I’ve had (never happened to me before on Zoladex), the ovulation signs, the constant pain over my right ovary and general crampy pains I am getting now. Not. Good. Signs.

I know this is boring to read so I’m going to sign off. I bought a pair of orange fertility knickers for tomorrow. I am going to wear the lucky fertility charm giraffe necklace that FD bought me (how jealous are YOU!). My onesie twin is wearing both her onesies at the same time to bring me extra special good luck.

WHAT CAN POSSIBLY GO WRONG?!?

BB xx

The good, the bad and the ugly

I keep having a funny feeling today and wondering what it is. At first I thought it was a side effect of Zoladex because that certainly makes me feel pretty funny. Then I realised what it is: I am having a positive emotion.

Against my will, that wolf Hope is circling me and nuzzling at my crotch.

Having this funny feeling has made me realise just how sad I’ve been for so long. I thought I was handling all the delays and bad news better recently, but I think that in reality I was so defeated it just didn’t evoke much of a reaction from me. My fight had gone. The bad news just kept on coming; hitting me in the face in a relentless barrage of unlucky gloom. At first it made me ANGRY and I fought it, I threw it through windows and smashed it with my fists. Then as time wore on, I just batted it away like an annoying fly, until in the end I had no energy left to do anything but lie there and be beaten to a pulp.

So what has sent me along this dangerous path of funny feelings and (whispers) suppressed optimism? Lemme tell you. I’ll make a list of the good and the bad from yesterday:

THE GOOD

1. My hysteroscopy wasn’t cancelled – I was first on the list! Whizzed in on time and back on the ward in an hour. Back home for tea.
2. (I think) the polyp had mysteriously disappeared. I cannot confirm this 100% as I spoke to the doctor in recovery and as such, can’t remember shit.
3. My uterus is a normal shape. (It hasn’t always been. Means the last op I had in September 2012 obviously did something and the endo hasn’t gone too wild in the meantime).
4. My lining looked normal. No scar tissue!
5. My tubes looked normal (again, I can’t actually remember if this is completely true. I’m sure I heard “tubes” and “normal” in the same sentence so I’ll take that as a win).
6. We are a GO for the down regulation scan next Tuesday. Am trying hard not to think that I am not down regulated.
7. Doctor said he has “tricks up his sleeve” if I wasn’t so I don’t need to worry. I think I will do anyway thanks Hero, but at least it doesn’t sound like a drastic delay if I’m not.

THE BAD

1. All three anaesthetists looked far, far too young. Does this mean I am now old?
2. Our 14 year old car developed what I can only describe as a “cough” driving to the hospital. I fear this will be terminal and unfortunately with me working part time + IVF = can’t afford a new one. I don’t want to be bankrupt as well as barren.
3. Scraping the barrel here…. Surely I can squeeze out one more complaint? Oh I know, I have a sore throat and my stomach is really bloated.

I have calculated in mathematical terms, that means the day was 70% good.

I’ve also had some omens. I am not sure if they are good or bad. Tell me what you think:

If a miracle happens (please please please) and my lining is thin enough on Tuesday next week, I estimate that my transfer would be on my birthday, or a couple of days before. I have also (of course) done the unthinkable and worked out my due date. I know, idiot. It would be on, or a couple of days before, our 8 year wedding anniversary. My twelve week scan would be on the same date that my first cycle was abandoned last year.

Oh yes, I’m pretty sure this is evidence that the stars are aligning.* That, or I really did do something bad in a previous life (can’t be this life, I am dead nice?)

I realise that there is no ugly in this post (apart from my face and you can’t see that), so I leave you with a link that @cantchoosewhen sent me on twitter: http://www.buzzfeed.com/ariannarebolini/truly-upsetting-vintage-recipes

BB xx

*we might need to simultaneously Onesie Power Up on Monday to help**
**this will only make sense to one person