Tag Archives: Egg collection

We Are Go

Why hello fair maidens and men folk,

It took a bit of wrangling, but I believe we Are Go* for egg collection in theatre tomorrow. The clinic were actually turned down yesterday by the Very Important Gate Keepers Of The Theatre Waiting List. Thankfully the senior nurse took pity on me and marched down there in person to bust some ninja moves and squeeze me in. Phew.

Scan news was actually better than Friday. I mean, still complete shite (thank you ovaries), but I’ve had worse. There are now 3 follicles measuring 20-24mm so well and truly ready for egg collection. Either the sonographer on Friday got the measurements wrong or that means those 3 follicles all grew 7-9mm in 3 days. There are another 2 at 13 and 14mm. I have never had an egg immature or not from a follicle that small. Have you? Realistically I think the best I can hope for is 3 eggs. I need to pray they are mature because that is another problem I have had in previous cycles and we don’t have much to play with if there will only be a maximum of 3 eggs. I am trying not to dwell on my 2nd and 3rd egg collections – 2 eggs and 3 eggs respectively but only 1 mature and fertilised each time (resounding BFNs too – barely made it 9dpt before AF swooped in to claim victory).

I need to request hCG booster injections (if I have a transfer, please let me have a transfer) but I was too scared to ask too many additional questions yesterday when my main focus was sorting out the egg collection.

Other news:

Utrogestan is still the disgusting goop of satan

I have a STINKING cold (do you think that is bad? By that I mean, please tell me it’s not bad)

I am absolutely sick of eating protein

My egg collection is at 7.30am tomorrow so at least I won’t have too long to panic beforehand.

BB xx

 

*I said this in a Thunderbirds voice over voice

 

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Grand Finale

After my two miracle frozen embies didn’t make it (sigh), I took a break over Christmas to regroup (read: drink all the wine and eat all the pies). Having regrouped successfully I was unfortunately somewhat fatter so I spent most of January munching on celery sticks and crying into bowls of vegetable soup.

My WTF appointment reunited me with Hero. I’m not sure what magic spell he cast on me but I came out of that WTF a paid up member of The Final Cycle: Grand Finale. This will be the 8th cycle I have started (2 cancelled, 4 fresh, 1 FET so far). I am hoping that it will be my 5th egg collection and I am not adding to my tally of cancellations but things ain’t going swimmingly so far. I’d say we are more treading water with a few sharks nipping at our toes and maybe one arm band has deflated.

I had a bit of a laugh at my first appointment as I entered to the squarks of One Direction. I don’t suppose anyone gets that joke apart from me (story of my life). Anyway, first scan looked alright. 4 follicles above 10mm and 4 below. Not bad considering my track record. Since then it has all gone how we say in England, tits up.

The second scan showed only 2 of the 4 above 10mm had grown (not much) and the other 2 had stayed the same. The other 4 were apparently too small for the sonographer to even waste her ink on recording.

I am also having the same issue I’ve had every single cycle in that my clinic only do sedations for egg collection and I need a general anaesthetic. The conversation with the nurse on Friday left me feeling pathetic for requiring additional help outside of their ‘standard’ protocol. She implied it was me being weak and that if only I could step out of my comfort zone and stop being a silly little princess everything would be much easier for everyone. Oh, and that the chances were I’d have no choice anyway because she probably won’t be able to sort it out, so really I should just man up and be normal like everyone else.

I haven’t felt so helpless in a long time. She even asked me why I needed the general and after I explained she sagely explained in her infinite wisdom that every cycle was different and this egg collection would probably be straight forward and totally fine. Based on thin air I think, who knows. So I cried. Urgh. Through everything I’ve never cried there, but this time I sobbed in the waiting room while 20 people stared at me out of the corners of their eyes.

I have another scan later on today. I wish I wasn’t going on my own. I hope I’m not told off like a 10 year old school girl again. The way things are going I will be lucky to have an egg collection to worry about at all so maybe I should focus on that little hurdle first.

I have even done acupressure on myself this weekend. Desperate times.

BB xx

 

Sweet.

Home sweet home, finally. Man that was a long day.

I didn’t have Hero doing my egg collection which initially made me a bit sad, but his boss did it so I decided to trust that he knew what he was doing. He is also dead nice.

I’m still a bit off my face so this will be short, and oh-so-very SWEET.

Yep, you read right. My scarred, mangled, broken you-will-always-have-a-bad-response useless turds of ovaries coughed up 6 eggs. Technically, they made 7 but one was a complete dud and has been discarded. Of the 6 (six! OH MY GOD) left the quality looks to be a bit naff. There isn’t actually much that they can tell at all from looking at an egg (I’ve learnt this the hard way when even mature looking eggs ended up being immature during previous cycles), so I’m not going to give it much thought. Embryo quality is a far better indicator, and even poor quality embryos can make babies. Out of the 6 (SIX OH MY GOD), one really does look proper naff so I don’t have high hopes for him.

This is better than I ever hoped for, and is as many eggs as my previous 3 cycles added together. Whatever the concerns about quality, this is still 6 (SIX OH MY GOD) chances.

I have such high hopes that I will actually have 2 early embryos to transfer on Monday. I’ve certainly never even had a chance of a blastocyst or frozen embryos in the past, and right now there is even a little chance of that. A chance. An actual, real chance. Maybe not a likely one, but I’ll take a chance. Oh yes I will.

I really wish I didn’t have to wait until Monday for a fert report.

BB xx

Trigger time, baby

I have really, really bad news.

I lost the piece of paper that I wrote the waiting room tunes down on and I’ve forgotten them all apart from Christina Aguilera – Beautiful, Sarah McLachlan – Angel and Take That – Back for Good.

On a more positive note, my scan results today read like an IVF dream. 12 follicles ranging from 12mm to 23mm, with 6 at 20-23mm, 3 at 17mm and 3 that are 12-15mm. 5 are still too small at 5-10mm. This is my best response to stims ever.

I know that last time I had a lot of follicles and only 1 mature egg. I know that in previous cycles I’ve also only managed 1 or 2 eggs. I know the doctors say that no matter what, I will always get a low number because of all the damage to my ovaries, but regardless, I can’t help but feel vaguely hopeful. At least all those follicles mean chances of eggs.

I will be doing cartwheels if I get 3 or 4 mature eggs that fertilise normally. It seems like such a small ask from 12 follicles and so far away at the same time.

My lining has shrunk from 11.5mm down to 9mm. Weird. My feeling is that 9mm is still fine and they probably just measured it from a different area. My uterus is special and tilted away so it can be pretty hard to measure anything in there anyway. Who knows. I’m too tired to think it through.

So trigger time is 8.15pm tonight with egg collection scheduled for Friday morning. Surely 12 follicles will yield more than a couple of eggs? Surely life can’t be so cruel to make me go through this a fourth time, have my best response ever, only to have my worst outcome ever? Surely? Surely? What have I ever done to life to deserve that?*

BB xx

*don’t answer

I will have the lining of a 50 tog duvet by Monday

I was at the clinic for over 2 hours today. Geez, these monitoring appointments take FOREVER. I am a complete nervous wreck this cycle too. All that waiting really doesn’t help my mental stability.

I sat in the waiting room – which for some unknown reason is set to the temperature of the Sahara Desert – heart racing, gulping for air, sweaty, bright red and shaking with nerves. I looked across at Mr B who sat tapping at his work Blackberry, legs crossed tripping up every person entering the waiting room, absentmindedly picking his nose like only a man can.

It was at that moment when I was about to chastise Mr B for wiping bogies on his t-shirt when I looked at the other women in the waiting room. There were three. All slim, blond, attractive, and very stylishly dressed. They reminded me of my lovely pal Soops. I looked at myself. Leggings covered in a nice splattering of mud after walking outside in the rain, a purple top, cream cardigan, bright orange handbag and blue shoes. Oh, and a bright blue rain mac for good measure. Get dressed in the dark much? I was probably decorated with some stray bogies too. Mental note for next time: dress like a grown up and look in the mirror before leaving the house.

Okay, sorry, back to the nitty gritty. Firstly, I am being treated like The Queen. Obviously all the complaining has filtered through and there is a big red warning on my file. It was nice. I like being The Queen.

Follicles are continuing to out do themselves. I now have 10 (TEN!) all 14-19mm. There are 5 at 15mm, 1 at 14mm, then a 16mm, 17mm and 2 19mm-ers. There are 4 still under 10 which I guess we can discount now. But you guys, TEN! When it’s ten to ten and someone asks you the time do you say, “it’s cowboy time!” and then do the cowboy tune? No? Just me?*

Unfortunately, they aren’t quite big enough for egg collection on Friday and it has been moved to Monday instead. This is a) a hella lotta more money for drugs and b) bad for my over enthusiastic lining. Poops. If it carries on at the pace it has been, it’s likely to be at least 18mm by the time I have the egg collection. Not. Good.

Anyway, nothing I can do. The eggs are more important. Nobody is ever going to say, “well, you have no good eggs, but hell, ain’t that lining just peachy perfect!” are they? Well, maybe they would, but only if they are a moron.

The general anaesthetic is all booked in. No reminding, no crying, nada. I am The Queen now.

So the follicles are tres bien, I’m sad (and poor) stimming for 14 blooming days, the general is booked and my lining is going to be too thick, again. On balance, I think I am still winning this cycle, and more importantly it is most definitely, completely, entirely…

DIFFERENT!!!

BB xx

*and my dad.

Normal

This is going to be short and sweet*, partly because the stims are making me tired, but mainly because I am making myself tired by staying awake all night fretting. Why does everything always seem so much more scary at night?

I’m still riding the wave of good luck I caught at the end of last week. I have to say, I used to think (pardon my Australian) that supplements were a crock of shit. No doctor ever told me to take supplements. They just said carry on eating well and don’t smoke. If you eat a balanced diet, who needs supplements? I thought they were for the Mother Earths of the world, not the Bettys. Well friends, I am going to have to eat those words (yak) because I have to admit the supplements are different this time, and there is no doubting that this cycle, so far, Is Different.

There are now eight (EIGHT!) follicles measuring 12-17mm and four (FOUR!) hovering around 10mm. We appear to have lost lucky number 13, but the rest of them have all grown around 4mm in 2 days. Nice. Real nice.

My lining, which in the past has managed to grow so thick even the consultant couldn’t believe his eyes, is… normal. Sweet. It’s currently a nice, boring, normal 8.3mm. Egg collection is Friday so it has plenty of time to rev up, but even for my body it would be going some to reach +16mm in 4 days.

I have one more scan on Wednesday, then (fingers crossed, please, please, please, please) egg collection will be on Friday.

I braved it and enquired about the general anaesthetic. I saw one of the loveliest nurses I’ve ever met in my life at the clinic today, and she just said not to worry, they were sorting it out and would talk me through it on Wednesday. Both of the people who scanned me on Friday and today had clearly read my notes and knew all about me, as had both the nurses.

This feels weird. Everything is going well. Hell, everything is going SUPERB. I never in my wildest dreams (and my dreams are pretty wild) imagined 8 big follicles growing, 4 smallies that might catch up, no cysts, a normal lining. Dare I say, it even looks like my special-treatment-we-never-do-this general anaesthetic egg collection is going ahead without me having to do chase anything or cry at anyone.

This time will be is totally different… so far. Yippee!

BB xx

*boring

The first magic number

If you are nuclear physics boff then you will have already gleaned from the blog title just how many eggs I got.*

In the unlikely event that you don’t know what the first magic number is in nuclear physics, I shall tell you. It’s 2.

Two. Again.

I had a major wobble this morning that there wouldn’t be any eggs, and given the events of this week, two seems like a pretty good deal. Still, there is no getting away from the fact that two is a bad outcome. For my test results and my particular set of circumstances, two is a very poor response. Again. Same as last time. I heard the words “unexpected”, “surprising” and “disappointing” banded around by the healthcare professionals today. Again. Same as last time.

Anyway, never mind. Two it is and it’s certainly better than none or a cancellation. They ended up flushing 5 follicles in the end – 3 biggies and 2 smalls. I really hope these 2 are from the big, mature follicles and not a couple of runts. Please please please God, unicorns, Buddha, Jay-Z, whoever is in charge.

I’m sorry this is short and boring but I’m tired and a bit uncomfortable. I was wide awake for my egg collection and it was really fricking painful. Originally Dr Hero said he had concerns that egg collection would be extremely painful and that the follicles may be difficult to reach. He actually said, “I don’t want you screaming in agony on the table”. I reminded the nurses of that little fact this week, and that it clearly said that a general anaesthetic had been recommended for me in my notes. They told me it was too difficult to arrange. Didn’t even make an effort to look into it, or check with a doctor that a normal egg collection would be okay. Maybe they were right since I survived and all, but I think I’ll be having nightmares about it for a some while to come. And Hero was right – I did cry throughout the whole procedure, flinch, squirm and screech in pain.

My clinic are closed over the weekend so I won’t get a fertilisation report until Monday morning. If the embryos have survived, I’ll have a transfer later on that day. I really, really hope they survive. REALLY a LOT. Also, just a small reminder… please don’t give me the “it only takes one” speech. Yeah, yeah, we all know it only takes one. Most people don’t only have one or two to choose from. It doesn’t make me feel better. I am hopeful as I can be about these two, but I am also sad that I am an unexpectedly, inexplicably bad responder. I think that’s allowed.

I feel like I should end this on a positive, but I’m so zonked I can’t think of anything funny so this will have to do.

I went out for lunch with Mr Barren after the egg collection and he made this joke:

“What is the best cheese to hide a horse in?”
“Mascarpone”

(sorry)

BB xx

*makes me a little bit wish I paid attention more in physics. “Double magic” is also a thing. Cool.