Tag Archives: Egg collection

A unicorn must have licked my face…

…because there is just no other sensible explanation for what happened today.

Thank you for all the universe raging/sacrifices/magic spells/onesie wearing you did on my behalf because I cannot believe I am getting to write these words… MY APPOINTMENT WASN’T BAD NEWS!!!

It started off much better with perky waiting room songs. I was slightly embarrassed that Mr Barren sang along whilst looking at the work he brought with him. He denies all knowledge of this now, but I have ears and so did the rest of the waiting room. When I looked at the other stricken faces around me, I just didn’t have the heart to shush the one completely oblivious chirpy person in the room.

I trudged into the scanning room on my own. It was a trainee sonographer so I couldn’t ask all my usual questions since it seemed like she needed to concentrate somewhat, and for once I couldn’t see the screen. It took a long time to scan me. IVF nurses are obviously more used to sights such as the disaster area that are my ovaries and uterus, but New Lady was clearly not used to such unappealing insides and exclaimed, lamented and gurned throughout. Slightly disconcerting. My hurried defence of, “I have severe endometriosis, really it was worse before the operations!” was met with a sorrowful nod of understanding, but I still felt a tad sorry for my ugly innards.

The trainee was being trained by another lady who would. not. tell. me. anything. She told me to go outside and wait for the nurse. Yeah right, you say “wait for the nurse”, I say “sweat out 15 litres and turn into a wet, dribbling mess over the 50 minutes they make you stew while the nurse… does what exactly? Plays solitaire? Practices handstands?” Lucky for me I was about a foot taller than the sonographer and a good 20lbs heavier so I just stood my ground while she tried to manoeuvre me and read the chart over her head. Short people like it when you do that don’t they? Even without my glasses on I could see an “x” next to that beautiful number, 21mm.

I still turned into a wet, dribbling mess in the waiting room but I needn’t have. I appreciate that for the general population of 31 year old IVFers, this isn’t anything to get excited about, but I am freaking OVER THE MOON. Ladies, we have 3 follicles. THREE! God knows where they sprouted from, but they are 18mm, 20mm and 21mm. My lining is now a majestic 16mm.

I am so excited to type this, I’m going to give it its own line:

Egg collection is Friday.

Whoo hoo! Whatever universe badgering/candle lighting/magic charm casting shizz you guys did on Monday… keep it up!

ūüėÄ

BB xx

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Mediocre egg report, D- for effort

If you are on Twitter you will have already witnessed my egg retrieval nervous breakdown. If you aren’t, I can tell you now that it did not go to plan.

It started off with 3 bad omens:

1. I picked up a magazine because it had a Henry Cavill headline on the cover. What I had forgotten was that I lost my glasses last month (who does that? Who does that and doesn’t even replace them?) It wasn’t Henry Cavill, it was Civil War and National Geographic magazine. I pretended to read it anyway instead of looking like a div and putting it back.

2. I had a dream that I needed to do a pregnancy test before egg collection. Despite numerous sources telling me that this was actually mental, I had wee performance anxiety. This meant that I bypassed my usual toilet in case I was required to perform a wee on demand in the clinic. I didn’t need to. I weed in a totally alien toilet I have never even seen before.

3. At our clinic you are supposed to do your sperm sample at home, then I don’t know, stuff it down your knickers or under your armpit or something to keep it warm and bring it in. The men coming in this morning ignored this request, and I had to watch them go into the toilet to do their business. I don’t like being that close to strangers wanking.

As an aside, I felt bad for the poor guys coming in. They fall into two camps. The fake, over-confident, jolly, too-loud, “this is nothing, I’m totally cool with this!” camp, and the bag-over-the-head-don’t-look-at-me-or-I-will-die camp. Pretty sure they both feel the same level of awkward.

Anyways, egg collection went horribly wrong. I went in with 5 good follicles and 5 smaller ones. I woke up to two very pessimistic doctors telling me to prepare myself for the worst. One of them told me that all I could do now was cross my fingers. Thanks for that.

After spending the morning crying on my own in the recovery ward, I’ve calmed down a bit. I’m finding it hard to remember what happened since the anaesthetic has muddled my thoughts, but I think the problem came when the doctor accidentally pierced my biggest endometrioma. This meant that they couldn’t see what they were doing when they were draining the follicles, and since all of my follicles were on that side they were not hopeful for a good egg harvest. I guess it’s hard enough to flush out follicles, nevermind doing it blind.

Considering the doctors thought I’d get no eggs after the egg collection from hell, the good news is that we got two. Two is more than one and definitely better than none so I am not completely distraught. I’m trying not to think that I had 10 follicles going in, 5 of which were big enough on Wednesday and 2 others that were catching up. Two is better than none. I hope they weren’t damaged from the procedure since it seems to have been such a botched job.

I’m upset that I started IVF treatment at the beginning of February, and the entire culmination of all that time, all of those appointments, all of those drugs, all of the heartache and stress is two eggs. I know that I ovulate every month… I already have one egg every month. All of that extra grief for one more egg? I’m dubious about the treatment I’ve had. I don’t think they gave me enough stimulant drugs and I don’t think they gave them enough time to allow the smaller follicles to catch up. I guess in hindsight none of that would have mattered since they couldn’t see what they were doing anyway.

If any fertilise tonight, my transfer will be on Sunday. I just want this week to be over.

BB xx

Big car, small car. Big follicle, small follicle.

I’m going to keep this short and sweet, and I imagine therefore dead factual and boring. I hope the joke police don’t arrest me (yes, Jenny Dogs Aren’t Kids, I’m taking to YOU). If you are a grumpy old fart too, I’m sounding the mundane alarm, ringing the boring bell, shaking the turd tambourine and banging the banal bongo. You’ve been warned.

Before I launch into my second stim scan appointment post mortem report, you know how it’s sorta funny when you see a really tall person next to a really small person? Or a really big dog next to a really small dog? I went for a walk yesterday and I found out it’s funny for cars too:

I feel like I should sell that to a greeting cards company. It could totally be some kind of lurve card; an engagement card or something? Call me Hallmark, I got loads more crap pictures where that came from.

So, the appointment. I know what most of you want to know, so I’ll start with my pre-appointment nervous wee. I didn’t need one, but I went to my usual toilet anyway and had a sit down. Usual nurse was there etc etc. All good. I didn’t get chance to write down all the measurements today, but as I recall I have 4 good ones on the right now measuring 22, 19, 18 and 16. Lazy lefty has made a half-assed mediocre effort and now has one at 13 and a load of titchers. I have injected my final Menopur, and my trigger is safely stowed away in the fridge. I’m shooting up at 10pm tonight and I’m first on the egg collection conveyor belt at 9am on Friday.

I had a little pathetic happy cry on the way home because I got too excited that I have 4-5 follicles that might contain 4-5 eggs that might make a baby. Then I had a little sad-sack-boo-for-me cry when I realised how unlikely that is to happen, and how many times I haven’t been pregnant already.

I have been scared the last 6 weeks that the drugs wouldn’t work again. Now I’m scared they won’t be able to reach any eggs, and that they won’t make any embryos. I’m scared that if they do and they transfer one or two that there is something else wrong with me that I don’t know about yet. Why have I never been pregnant? Never? Ever? 7 years of marriage and not one scare (of the pregnancy variety). I’m scared that my eggs are fertilising every month but something else is stopping them from implanting and I’ll only find that out through multiple rounds of IVF.

I’m going to stop looking too far ahead now. I also have a horrible feeling that those worries above are from the same worry shop as worrying about how fat you are when you are pregnant, complaining about morning sickness and whining that you don’t get enough sleep now you are a parent… I.e. THEY ARE NOT WORRIES. I WOULD KILL TO BE WORRIED ABOUT THAT. STOP COMPLAINING YOU STUPID IDIOT.

I will take my own advice now and stop worrying/stop being an idiot. Actually I am not sure I have much control over 50% of that.

BB xx

P.s. Ok, so WordPress has moved on from me wanting to tag my posts with Breaking Bad to Aspergers Syndrome and Jerry Newport? What? Why? And who is Jerry Newport anyway?

Just a quickie

So, I had my first scan to check on how my follicles are growing. If you read my last post to the end and didn’t get sick/die of boredom half way through, you will know that I had little to¬†no faith that my ovaries were doing anything at all. Turns out I was half right.

Compared to my last scan, I didn’t have too many bad omens so everything started off okay.¬†I had a wee in my usual toilet, I saw my usual nurse and she used her usual dildocam. So far so usual and therefore so good. I did have a bit of a ‘moment’ when yet another person rocked¬†up to the waiting room with a¬†miracle,¬†“I¬†got knocked up before IVF news” *smacks face with bundle of 6 month old copies of Hello, Look and OK magazines*

I have endometriomas in both ovaries, and¬†one¬†ovary is also attached to the ureter (tube¬†coming out of¬†the kidney) which is¬†pulling it up and making it difficult to access. My¬†right ovary in particular has two¬†endometriomas, and one of them is pretty big. The left ovary has a small endometrioma but is basically (currently)¬†pretty normal and accessible after my operations. AND OF COURSE, which ovary is still “quiet” (you say¬†“quiet”;¬†I say LAZY).¬†You guessed it, lazy lefty. My left ovary has 5 follicles all measuring 10, and they told me they probably won’t bother with that one now because they are too small. The right ovary has 3 okay looking¬†ones measuring 14,15 and 16 and 2 smaller 11s that might catch up.

That’s it really. Bet you are dead happy you clicked on the link now. I will carry on with the same dose of Menopur for two¬†more days and¬†have another scan on Wednesday. Pending any major disasters (which I will not rule out ‘cos that’s how I roll), I will trigger on Wednesday night and egg collection will be on¬†Friday. I was starting to get scared and tearful in my appointment, when my nurse brought me back down to reality with:

“There are still so many hurdles. First the follicles have to keep growing, then they need to contain eggs and we need to be able to reach them, then they need to fertilise, and¬†then they need to continue to divide. If you have an embryo transfer, you then¬†have to do¬†a pregnancy test, be pregnant, and then you need to not miscarry. And when that’s all over, you have 8 more months of¬†worry. It never ends.”

I love her so bad, we are kindred spirits.

BB xx

How did the egg get up the mountain?

It scrambled up!

Sorry, that’s the best egg joke I know. I have some better cheese jokes, but this post is about eggs and not cheese.

When I had my first IVF consultation, the doctor told me that for a healthy woman my age (30) who had no problems he would expect to be able to collect around 10 eggs. From those 10 he would be very happy if they got 3 or 4 embryos. However, because of my endometriosis he said that we might only get 1. 1 egg. But not to worry because that 1 egg would be good quality because of my age.

I hadn’t given it much thought until now… 1 egg?! That doesn’t sound good!!! I’m also not sure that I understand why the chances are so small… One of my ovaries has rather rudely welcomed back the endometriomas with open arms (and is now housing a big cyst too, party time), but the other one seems fine. It’s free from endometriomas (for now, please god stay that way) and it’s swinging around free from bowel and any other gubbins on the inside. So why only 1 egg?! Does anyone else have any experience of this? I’d be interested to know any of your experiences of IVF with endometriosis.

I was on the countdown to my first egg collection at the end of April and it was cancelled when the suprecur failed, and the next cycle has been cancelled because a big cyst has grown. I’ll be waiting about another 6 weeks I guess to start the pill again for try number 3. For one egg?

I’m suddenly not feeling very confident. 1 egg? I don’t know why I’d forgotten that little nugget of information.

What do you think? Has endometriosis affected anyone else’s egg collection?

Let me know if you have any ideas, I think I’ve eggs-hausted all mine. (sorry).

BB xx