Tag Archives: pregnyl

That’s beta

Sorry.

Okay, panic over. Some days I really need to remember I’m not a trained doctor and I don’t know everything (only almost everything).

After my minor meltdown yesterday about the hCG boosters, I called up my clinic today for clarification. They are so lovely and kind, even when dealing with neurotic loony bins like me, so I’m glad I called. I would totally go and work there if I was a trained doctor.

They said that the boosters I’m having would equate to around 50-200hCG in my system if they did a blood test straight after I did the jab. Apparently it varies person to person how much enters your blood stream or something. They know I will have a higher amount in my body on Monday since my last injection will be on Saturday night (I’m moving it to Saturday morning, can’t do any harm) and that will be taken into account.

I suppose it’s not ideal – I won’t have a crystal clear picture of how much hCG my body is making (if it’s making any at all). However, if I am pregnant, I will be 5w3d/5w5d so it really should be making quite a lot by then on it’s own compared to the 50-100 that will be left over from my booster.

Make sense? It makes enough sense to me that I’m willing to go with them and do the jabs.

I also have another 6 courgettes* to eat this week from my allotment. They keep growing even though the plants are withered, yellow crusts, buried under mountains of weeds. Two questions:

Any favourite courgette* recipes to throw my way?

Can anybody speed up time for me so that it’s next Wednesday?

Thanks pals,

BB xx

*zucchini if you don’t speak English.

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You beta be kidding me

Sorry.

Okay, seriously, 11dp5dt and I STILL don’t know if this cycle has worked or not.

I wasn’t listening to the nurses when I had my transfer. I was so happy to have blastocysts and frozen embryos everything they said went flying in one ear and out the other on a glittery rainbow train driven by fairies. Well, the train has gone now and I’m annoyed and grumpy. This is (a small percentage of) the reasons why:

– I am having hCG boosters every 3.5 days
– My next ones are Wednesday (15th – am) and Saturday (18th – pm)
– My beta tests are Monday 20th and Wednesday 22nd
– Pregnyl has a half life of 24-36 hours and my first beta is 36 hours after my last injection. This means I could still have upto 2,500hCG in my system on beta day!

It’s not going to tell us anything! Even if I’m making my own, it’ll be a drop in the ocean compared to the stuff that is artificially coursing through my veins. There will certainly be no way of telling if the number has doubled or not. Even if it has, surely it will look like it has dropped as the injection leaves my system?

I’m going to have to call them tomorrow. To me it looks like they have just given me an extra week of hCG jabs for no particular reason. I can appreciate that they want me to wait until the 20th since I’ve had the boosters, but that only makes sense if I don’t then have more boosters next week.

I hope I can speak to someone sensible. I’m feeling pretty naff with all the drugs and stress so I also hope I don’t get frustrated and I stay polite.

I think I’ve decided that if they tell me to take them next week anyway, I am going to rebel and ‘forget’ to do Saturday’s injection. It won’t affect a pregnancy – I will be over 5 weeks by then if I am pregnant and it will make the betas on Monday and Wednesday worthwhile.

It’s official. This wait is driving me mad.

BB xx

I slipped on a banana skin.

I really did. An actual banana skin. In the street. FFS. Who eats a banana then chucks the skin on the floor anyway? Since when did litter louts start eating fruit? AND I can confirm that when you slip on a banana skin, you really do slip like they do in the cartoons: legs in the air, arse on the floor. Behold, the offending banana skin:

I’ve been watching a lot of South Park in a bid to cheer myself up this week and it has the look of a jumping and waving Mr Hankey The Christmas Poo to me*.

At first I thought I’d slipped in dog sh*t/Mr Hankey, then I saw it was a banana skin. I am adding this to my portfolio of evidence that someone up there has it in for me.

Apart from that, I’ve not been up to much that doesn’t involve lying face-down crying somewhere. Time is going sloooow. 9dp5dt. I would SO have tested today if I didn’t already have hCG in my system. Boring.

I am still pleased to report there is no sight nor sound of The Witch. I believe that by this time last cycle she had pretty much already been, done her worst, and gone so this is definite progress. My cramps are continuing to be alarmingly painful, but they are coming and going unlike the persistent, escalating cramps of my BFN cycles.

14 days post egg collection during my last 2 cycles I knew without a shadow of a doubt it was over. I’d already stopped progesterone and had a period. 14 days post egg collection following my first cycle I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I was pregnant. I have no idea this cycle. The cramps are bad, but they haven’t reached my BFN level Give Up All Hope It’s Over bad. The progesterone and hCG might just be artificially keeping The Witch at bay. Who knows.

Not me. I’ve been very up and down this cycle. I’m sure without the frozen embryos it would have been even harder, so I am very grateful for those*.

*short interlude for a cry.

I’ve already said a lot that this is my last cycle. This road has been too long for me now. It’s over 4 years since we started to try and conceive and 3 years since I started fertility tests. It’s been 2 years since my last ‘big’ operation and 20 months since we started IVF. I have nothing to show for that time except a severely diminished bank account, a few extra pounds and a lot more grey hair. This is getting depressing isn’t it? Forgotten my point. Oh yes, last cycle. (I wonder if when push comes to shove I would actually do one final hurrah cycle before chucking the towel in? Not sure.) I think it has meant the lows and the worries have been worse this time. The weight of how long this has taken and how terrible it’s been along the way is heavy man, heavy, and I’m right at the end of the road.

Well, not quite right at the end because it’s still another 12 days until I get the results of this cycle.

BB xx

*really got that song stuck I’m my head now.

5dp5dt and I’m too lazy to think up a better title

Oh, my. This waiting is as boring as hell.

I have been doing the prerequisite symptom-spotting this weekend since the embryo should have been doing it’s thang and been busy implanting itself. I’ve had a few twinges that got me excited. I mean, I had twinges on my BFP cycle! OH MY GOD. Oh, and on the BFN ones too. Oh yeah. Actually if anything, the twinges on the BFN cycles were more noticeable and just a precursor to my uterus gearing up for my period to start early (9 days post egg collection, fact fans).

Speaking of which, it is 10 days post egg collection today and there is no sign of The Witch yet. I mean, no visual confirmation. I do have cramps from hell. They haven’t changed gear yet though and reached the endometriosis-I-am-going-to-punish-you post IVF failure cramp level just yet. I know that crampy bitch well and she can shove off.

I am pleased that the hCG and progesterone combination appears to be holding The Witch at bay, for now at least. The cramps are definitely escalating though and it’s not making me hopeful.

In other non-news,

1. I am majorly bloated. It’s disgusting. I’ve weighed myself and I weigh the same. Weird. Side note: whenever I say to my husband I “got weighed” (usually followed by lamenting about being fat) he laughs at me. I think it’s grammatically incorrect, but he proper laughs everytime. It’s not funny is it?

2. I walked past this sign yesterday near my house:

If you can’t see it and/or read (why are you looking at blog posts?) it says, “CAUTION: anti climb paint”. Lolz. It made me laugh quite a bit. I would have laughed harder, but as long time readers will remember (you guys) I’ve already laughed at burglar proof paint in the shops once. How is that even a thing? Evidence it is a thing:

Several things perturbed me about this sign. a) There is clearly no paint on the wall… is this invisible burglar paint? b) The sign is really high up. Why put a sign so high up that most people would already have to be climbing up to read it? And lastly, c) it backs on to an old people’s home. Who even wants to steal them?

3. During the composition of this blog post the cramps have become significantly worse.

4. It’s really raining outside.

5. It’s 9am and I am still in my pyjamas, I should really get up and do stuff.

BB xx

Brrrr…. It’s FROSTIE(s)

The embryologists at my clinic are lovely, and dead clever. Sort of makes me want to be an embryologist because you also get to dress like a nurse, but you don’t have to do anything gross like wipe bums.

Anyway, after being told we find out about frosties via snail mail, “in a few weeks with the invoice” I thought, nah thanks. I am the lady who was told she’d never get blastocysts, never mind frozen embryos, remember? So I used the clever invention I know about called the t-e-l-e-p-h-o-n-e and spoke to them today.

I was feeling a little sorry for myself when I called because all the extra HCG in my system, plus the progesterone I guess, is making me feel awful sick. Nobody wants morning sickness when they aren’t pregnant. It’s depressing. I obviously wouldn’t give a rats ass if it meant I had a baby at the end, but since that’s all up in the air it was making me feel a bit sorry for myself. It also reminds me of being pregnant, which was over a year ago now. Sad.

Anyway, I was a bit miserable, but now I’m just sick and EXCITED because you guys, not only did they freeze 2, the little tricksters improved in quality to 4ba! They are bb’s no more.

I hope the one I have is following suit.

BB xx

Trigger time, baby

I have really, really bad news.

I lost the piece of paper that I wrote the waiting room tunes down on and I’ve forgotten them all apart from Christina Aguilera – Beautiful, Sarah McLachlan – Angel and Take That – Back for Good.

On a more positive note, my scan results today read like an IVF dream. 12 follicles ranging from 12mm to 23mm, with 6 at 20-23mm, 3 at 17mm and 3 that are 12-15mm. 5 are still too small at 5-10mm. This is my best response to stims ever.

I know that last time I had a lot of follicles and only 1 mature egg. I know that in previous cycles I’ve also only managed 1 or 2 eggs. I know the doctors say that no matter what, I will always get a low number because of all the damage to my ovaries, but regardless, I can’t help but feel vaguely hopeful. At least all those follicles mean chances of eggs.

I will be doing cartwheels if I get 3 or 4 mature eggs that fertilise normally. It seems like such a small ask from 12 follicles and so far away at the same time.

My lining has shrunk from 11.5mm down to 9mm. Weird. My feeling is that 9mm is still fine and they probably just measured it from a different area. My uterus is special and tilted away so it can be pretty hard to measure anything in there anyway. Who knows. I’m too tired to think it through.

So trigger time is 8.15pm tonight with egg collection scheduled for Friday morning. Surely 12 follicles will yield more than a couple of eggs? Surely life can’t be so cruel to make me go through this a fourth time, have my best response ever, only to have my worst outcome ever? Surely? Surely? What have I ever done to life to deserve that?*

BB xx

*don’t answer